Metaphysical Freedom

Psychotherapy, Spirituality, Mindfulness, Intuition, Wellbeing


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Dealing with the Loss of a Parent (and you’re under 35)

Grief and loss are challenging things to face, and they affect everyone. The impact of loss varies based on someone’s perception and experience. Grief can be felt from losing a valued item, going through a breakup, or facing the transition (death) of a loved one. Grief, simply defined, is a feeling of deep sorrow.

Five and a half years ago, I had a vision of my dad dying. I couldn’t fight the choking feeling in my throat, the sadness, and the fear. I called him sobbing and told him about my vision. My dad knew that I was very intuitive, so he was not surprised at all about my vision, nor was he surprised to hear me being so upset.

Calling him opened up a dialogue that I believe every parent and child would like to have before one transitions. My dad spoke very calmly and said, “You’re picking up on a lot of death around me. A lot of people I know have died. I’ve been feeling sad about it, so you feel that too. If I were to die today, I would be content. I’m very happy with my life. I have wonderful grandchildren. I’m proud of my children. I’m proud of you. All of my daughters have degrees! If I died today, I’ve lived a good life.”

Of course, this was comforting, but at that time, it was upsetting too. Hearing my dad say those words let me know that he was ready to transition whenever it was time. He was in his late 60’s, which is still young to me, but I knew deep down that I had to find peace with his perspective. He lived through many historic and painful events and was able to see the positives despite them.

Secretly, I think my dad knew I was concerned about our time together. I was working towards an independent counselor license and working two part-time jobs, so my trips back to my hometown were limited. My dad began calling me every morning around 7:00am and we talked during my 45-minute commute to work. The conversations were priceless. At the end of every call, he wished me a blessed day and told me he loved me. This went on for quite some time.

Two years later, I went to Ghana, West Africa for a month and returned home, ready to share about my experiences. During summertime, I went back to my hometown and spent time with family. I shared with my dad about my trip. He told me he was proud of me and glad that I went to Ghana. By that time, our calls were not as frequent, but they were still quite rich. During my visit, my dad also shared with me that he liked what I was doing with my Metaphysical work, and he showed me some metaphysical and spiritual books he was reading.

Months later, things changed.

Everywhere I went, I kept seeing butterflies. I LOVE butterflies and usually feel excited when I see them, but during that time, I had an eerie feeling. The butterflies were giving me a message that I wasn’t ready to receive.

The more I tried to ignore them, the more they got my attention. I’ll never forget three distinct times I saw them.

  1. I remember going to a coffee shop and facing the window while I worked. I looked up and saw about 30 butterflies flying by like a flock of birds. It gave me chills, but I shook it off.
  2. I was driving on the highway and looked at my side view mirror. There was a butterfly flying in sync and very close to the mirror. The butterfly did not fly away when I stopped at my destination, but it lingered by the window. I shook the weirdness off again.
  3. I was walking to a parade with a friend. It was crowded, so I had to walk behind her since she knew the way. In the midst of all the people and flowers, a butterfly flew down and landed on her back (which was right in front of me). In that moment, I had a strong, eerie feeling.

The day before that parade was September 11th, my dad’s birthday. I called him to let him know I would come see him and celebrate his birthday the weekend after because of training and a dance performance during his birthday weekend. I didn’t get an answer, so I left a message for him.

Well, that night of the parade, I got the call. My dad had transitioned.

Looking back, I can equate my response that night as being in shock. I didn’t cry or rush home. I stayed calm and tried to be supportive to my family members. The next day, I cried some, but I still did the dance performance because my dad loved to dance. I only told two people about his death, and I went to my hometown afterwards.

Planning a funeral took “adulting” to the next level. There I was, under 35, with my mother and siblings discussing caskets, headstones, obituaries, funeral service times, and the burial site. My mind kept flipping between thoughts that the next ceremony we planned should have been a wedding or a bridal shower at least, not a funeral.

The first few years after his death, I worked like there was no tomorrow. I had a full-time job, did public speaking engagements, and was on different committees and organizations within my spiritual community. The experiences were amazing, but emotionally I was distracting myself.

Finally, two years after his death, I gave myself full permission to let go and grieve.

I recognized my disappointment that my dad would not be physically present to see me get married. I was not happy with not being able to talk to him on the phone anymore. I was haunted when I went home and drove by the house we grew up in, knowing he wasn’t in there. I was angry that he didn’t live at least until I was 40 or older. Realistically, all of these feelings are normal.

Grief is not a linear process. I tell this to my clients and I know it to be true. Elisabeth Kubler Ross was a psychiatrist who came up with the Five Stages of Grief. They are Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Although these stages were initially identified to address the process that someone goes through when facing death, it also applies to the surviving loved ones as well.

As a “Millennial” who is already dealing with many normal life challenges, I was not expecting to deal with my father’s death so soon. As a therapist, I know that the reason many people feel sadness when someone dies (or goes away) is because the person’s physical presence is absent. We no longer see the person, hear the person’s voice (in real time), experience the person’s touch, etc. As a Metaphysician, I have learned to transmute this experience into an empowering one. I know that energy is never lost; it only changes form. I know I can access the energy of my dad through the metaphysical skills I have learned over the years, and it is comforting to me.

If you are dealing with the loss of a parent, allow yourself to go through the process and know that some days are easier than others. Don’t be afraid to seek support when needed.

When you think of the transitioned parent, consider these three things:

  1. What positive messages did you get from your parent?

For example, my dad told me he was proud of me, proud of the work that I do, and he likes my Metaphysical work. He also shared that he felt like I understood him.

  1. What characteristics or positive traits did you inherit or learn from your parent?

My experience with my dad helped me to see that it is okay to be quirky and free-spirited. My dad traveled when he felt like it, danced up into his 70’s, and he was artistic (drawing, photography, played guitar). I’m not afraid to ask questions. I dance, enjoy being creative, and follow my flow.

  1. Remember, your parent is always with you.

You are a living, breathing expression of your parents. Their presence is in your DNA. Even if it is a step-parent or if you are adopted, their energy is still with you because it has shaped or influenced you.

Energy is never lost; therefore, you are never alone.

 

With love and light,

Dana (Intuitive Dana)

http://www.MetaphysicalFreedom.com


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The Reality of Suicide (From a Therapist’s Perspective)- Updated Post

Therapist Poem Ann Eaton

“Therapist” poem by Ann Eaton

As a psychotherapist, one of the last things that I want to hear is that one of my clients has killed or taken the life of himself or herself (or someone else). It is not because of a personal feeling of failure, but because of a sense that somewhere in the process, my client has lost hope. As therapists, one of our most powerful intentions is to instill hope. It is not a starry wish, but a sense of purpose and encouragement.

When I was in graduate school, I was drawn to the more intense subjects such as traumatology, addiction, and crisis stabilization work. I loved them! I remember sitting in a crisis intervention class and hearing my professor clearly state, “In all your years as a therapist, all of you will lose at least one client to suicide. Be prepared for it. It will happen. Oh, and those of you who are working with trauma and addiction, you can definitely expect it to happen.” He spoke those words with a matter-of-factness that revealed long years of personal experience. I did not want to believe him, but I also knew that there was some underlying realness to what he said.
Even with this warning, I pressed on and continued down the path to become a licensed therapist. I did not and could not lose hope in the long-lasting positive impact of the work we do. I believed that following my passion and helping others to see their inner light was worth much more than living in fear of those who might not see it.

For a little while, I even worked for a crisis hotline. Some of the callers were blatantly at the point where they had chosen to end their lives. I encouraged some to rethink their situations and to see that life might actually be worth living. However for some, I do not know if they did or did not take their lives…the calls simply just ended.

Ironically enough, I didn’t feel disappointment, but gratitude. How might one be grateful for such a thing? I fully understood that the conversations that I had with the callers may have been their last conversations ever. I was at least thankful to talk to them in the present moment and be some type of positive, loving voice before they departed (or decided to live).

And here I am… 8 years and 2 client suicides later.
I will not get into too much detail about the 2 client suicides; however I will say that both were very sobering experiences for me. I re-learned that suicide shows up in many forms.

A spiritual reality about suicide came to me as well:

A person’s exit from this world is not an accident. The way we transition may serve a greater purpose, just like the way we live. It is true that sometimes a person’s life purpose may not be easily understood or clear. But be aware that every life, no matter how short, undoubtedly leaves a precious legacy on this planet.

Every day that I choose to continue working as a psychotherapist and addiction counselor, the possibility of losing a client to suicide, overdose, or something exists. Yet, if a little piece of hope surfaces, then I believe there is a chance that the person will see tomorrow. I Know the power of hope. It starts as a glimmer, and then it becomes a belief. Belief is when the person sees more light and direction. Then a belief transforms into Knowing. Knowing (in this context) is when the person is aware that Life Is.

If you or someone you love is struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts, or self-harm, please Know that There is Hope.
For nationwide support in the United States you can contact: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Your life Is valuable.

With love and compassion,

Dana Robinson (Intuitive Dana)

http://www.MetaphysicalFreedom.com

 


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Conscious Social Change

“Nobody with innocence loves to go to jail. But if he puts you in jail, you go in that jail and transform it from a dungeon of shame to a haven of freedom and human dignity. Even if he tries to kill you, you develop the inner conviction that there are some things so dear, some things so precious, some things so eternally true that they are worth dying for…” –Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

If there is one thing that I would change about the quote above, it is this: “What are you willing to LIVE for? What do you desire to see changed in the world we live in right now?”

February is celebrated as Black History month in the United States of America. It is also the month where they celebrate Love, Romance, and relationships in honor of St. Valentine.

When I pondered upon what this month means for me, I thought about the fact that there really is not a specific month to represent the history of all beings. My history is your history because we are all connected, and inevitably we all impact each other worldwide.

I also began thinking about the state of the social structure in this nation. There is unrest among many groups of people who are called the “minority” in the United States of America. The nature of this unrest is a recurrence of similar themes that have spanned over several generations. There are rallies against injustice, war, and inequality for all humans. This history seems to repeat itself, while the people headlining the movements are the only difference.

Why is this the case? What is missing?

Soldiers are deployed and encouraged to fight for their country and the freedom of their people. Yet, right here in our own land, many are not Free.

Freedom first begins in the mind.

If a group of people have been taught to believe and perceive their world from an inferior perspective, then their lives will continue to reflect this status, even if they do rally against their status. This is because they are creating what they focus upon. Do not get me wrong, there currently exists a covert and overt hierarchy in American society which affects various groups of people in different, yet painful ways. This hierarchy exists because the nation was created by a group of people who believed that to divide, conquer, and monopolize power was the way to live.

But it is not.

Violence, separation, and destruction only breed injustice, greed, and death.

It takes a conscious movement of everyone in solidarity in order for this ancient, ineffective system to be eradicated. I have read that the largest population in the United States right now is the generation born between the early 1980’s and early 2000’s, also known as Generation Y or the Millennials.

Why does this matter?
The largest population in any place can have a huge impact on society. It begins with a shift in conscious awareness, collectively joining together, and is followed by mindful action.

Think about what your ideal world looks like. Is there a major disparity among groups of people based on the color of their skin or partner preference? Of course not.
What can you do to shift things in the direction that makes this ideal world more tangible?

If you are passionate about it, then you have the first ingredient that is needed to take action. Every piece of this Peace puzzle has a major part.  First, begin to connect with others who believe in your cause. Second, discuss solutions from a collective and conscious point of view. Third, mindfully put things in motion from a solution-focused perspective. You will see just how much the world you desire begins to unfold.

You and I are the game-changers. We are the ones to lead a conscious movement, not by repeating old patterns of our predecessors, but by acting from a higher state of awareness and connectedness that focuses on the solution to the problems we face now. We need each other, and we are the answer.

We must create and influence the world that we desire to live in.

We are the catalyst

With love,
Dana (Intuitive Dana)
http://www.metaphysicalfreedom.com


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Give Thanks

You may have heard numerous times that “gratitude is the best attitude” or some similar type of slogan. The ideology behind these types of quotes implies that staying positive helps one to cope with life’s stress.
From an energetic perspective, everything has a vibration, frequency, and overall feeling. Our thoughts, words, pictures, places, vehicles, jobs, etc. all emanate some form of energy.

We are energy.

Imagine what it would be like if you got up every day and expressed thanks instead of dread.

I have found that the more I give thanks, the more I find things to be grateful for.

Here are a few examples…

  1. When I wake up in the morning, the first thing I usually say out loud (or in my thoughts) is: “God, thank you for this lovely new day.”
  2. When I get up and do my morning routine (shower, eat, wash my face, brush my teeth, etc) I say different types of thanks, but they are usually like this: “I am thankful that I have warm, clean, running water that I can bathe myself with. I am thankful that I have the ability and functionality to take care of my own body. I am thankful that I have food to eat and it is easily accessible. I am thankful for my life, and I know that everything works for my good and in my favor.”
  3. When I am stuck in traffic, I still give thanks and say: “I am thankful that I have a car that is in good condition and takes me to and from where I need to go. I am thankful that I have a job and a way to take care of my needs.”
  4. Even when I have felt “hurt”, upset, and frustrated, I have given thanks saying: “I am thankful that I can experience emotions. I am thankful for my tears. I am grateful that I can allow myself to feel my feelings.”
  5. When there is a death, I still give thanks and say: “Thank you God for allowing this person to be in my life. Thank you for my role in this person’s life. Thank you for the wonderful experience that I had in sharing Life with this Being.

 

I encourage you to begin this type of dialogue in your daily routine. You can start with small steps. For instance, being out in nature made giving thanks such an easy “task” for me.

Giving thanks shifts our perspectives from lack to abundance.
Giving thanks opens the door for more things to be grateful for.
Giving thanks is a form of prayer that affirms our victory.

Have you noticed the trees today?

 Mossy Trees

Give thanks for the simple things.

 

In gratitude,
Intuitive Dana
http://www.metaphysicalfreedom.com


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The Reality of Suicide (From a Healer’s Perspective)

As a psychotherapist, one of the last things that I want to hear is that one of my clients has killed himself or herself (or someone else). It is not because of a personal feeling of failure, but more so because of a sense that somewhere in the process, my client has lost hope. As therapists, one of our most powerful intentions is to at least instill hope. It is not a starry wish, but a sense of purpose and encouragement.

When I was in graduate school, I was drawn to the more intense subjects such as traumatology, addiction, and crisis stabilization work. I loved them! I remember sitting in a crisis intervention class and hearing my professor clearly state, “In all your years as a therapist, all of you will lose at least one client to suicide. Be prepared for it. It will happen. Oh, and those of you who are working with trauma and addiction, you can definitely expect it to happen.” He spoke those words with a matter-of-factness that revealed long years of personal experience. I did not want to believe him, but I also knew that there was some underlying realness to what he said.
Even with this warning, I pressed on and continued down the path to become a licensed therapist. I did not and could not lose hope in the long-lasting positive impact of the work we do. I believed that following my passion and helping others to see their inner light was worth much more than living in fear of those who might not see it.

And here I am… 6 years and 2 client deaths later.
I will not get into too much detail about the 2 client deaths; however I will say that both were due to overdoses. They were very sobering experiences for me. I re-learned that suicide shows up in many forms. It can be a drug overdose, hanging, gunshot wound, stabbing, train, car, traffic, etc.

For a little while, I even worked for a crisis hotline. Some of the callers were blatantly at the point where they had chosen to end their lives. I encouraged some to rethink their situations and to see that life might actually be worth living. However for some, I do not know if they did or did not take their lives…the calls simply just ended.
Ironically enough, I didn’t feel disappointment, but gratitude. How might one be grateful for such a thing? I fully understood that the conversations that I had with the callers may have been their last conversations ever. I was at least thankful to talk to them in the present moment and be some type of positive, loving voice before they departed (or decided to live).

A spiritual reality about suicide came to me as well:

A person’s exit from this world is not an accident. The way we transition may serve a greater purpose, just like the way we live. It is true that sometimes a person’s life purpose may not be easily understood or clear. But be aware that every life, no matter how short, undoubtedly leaves a precious legacy on this planet.

Every day that I choose to continue working as a psychotherapist, the possibility of losing a client to suicide/overdose/something exists. Yet, if a little piece of hope surfaces, then I believe there is a chance that the person will see tomorrow. I Know the power of hope. It starts as a glimmer, and then it becomes a belief. Belief is when the person sees more light and direction. Then a belief transforms into Knowing. Knowing (in this context) is when the person is aware that Life Is.
If you or someone you love is struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts, or self-harm, please Know that There is Hope.
For nationwide support in the United States you can contact: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Your life Is valuable. Be blessed today.