I believe that these three words can have more weight than “I love you”. For instance, I love people in general and I love my cat. Based on a previous definition I gave of love (Love…Anyone?), it is impersonal but also delightful.
Trust, on the other hand, is very personal. Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary defines trust as “assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.” Sounds quite personal to me. Trust can be developed, or it can already be established, depending on the situation.
Either way, it can be lost.
Someone can love another person but feel he or she cannot trust that person. Trust is a delicate gift that requires vulnerability.
In my profession of healing and transformation, the people I serve must trust me. They trust me to keep their best interests in mind. They trust me to be knowledgeable and experienced in the services I provide. They trust me to honor their sacredness and respect their privacy. Most of my clients do not say the three words out loud, but their actions and willingness in the sessions speak to this truth.
Ultimately, when you trust someone, you are allowing yourself to be in the vulnerable space of innocence and complete surrender. One of the most detrimental things that can happen in this line of work is for the healer to violate or break the trust of their client.
I could go further into this issue, but I will focus more on things you can do (as a client) to see if someone is trustworthy. These suggestions are geared towards the healing profession; however they can also be applied to personal interactions as well:
Do your research (Is the person qualified? What do others say about their experiences with the person? What skills/characteristics are you looking for?)
Listen to your gut (Intuition supersedes intellect; Do you feel safe? Do you feel heard? Do you feel respected?)
Ask questions (Get clarification on whatever you need to.)
Express yourself (Make your requests and needs known. Then refer back to number 2.)
In a society that promotes selfishness and self-centered gains, it is important for those of us in the healing profession to be selfless and genuine about providing the service the client needs.
The MOST VITAL part of any healing relationship is TRUST.
Working as a Metaphysical Coach, I ask my clients this simple question: What motivates you?
Often, the first response given is, “Money! No doubt!”Would you respond the same way?
Don’t get me wrong, this response is not completely negative. What it IS, is a reflection of what the person values.
When someone says his or her only motivation is money, this person is also saying that money is the boss and has power over him or her.
I promise I’m not trying to be extreme.
During the weekdays, in most metropolitan cities in the United States, people spend a great amount of time commuting to and from work. When I used to participate in the busyness of the daily commute, I often wondered what was going on in the minds of the other commuters around me. I took a step back and looked at the ENERGY of the situation, and it was disturbing because people basically became drones. If they were the drones, who was the Queen Bee? Many people would say, “Money.”
Money itself it not bad, but it is the consciousness we have around it that can create undesirable results.
I encourage you to rethink what money is to you. Money is energy that is manifested in our lives through an exchange of energy.
Remember this: Energy is never lost.
Speaking of consciousness, there is another layer to my question above (Of course there is! I like Metaphysics…lol):
In Behavioral Psychology, there is something called Operant Conditioning. I won’t bore you with a drawn out definition or psychobabble, but I will tell you the basics. Operant conditioning is the process of learning behavior through reward and punishment. When someone is rewarded for a behavior, it is done more often. When someone is punished for a behavior, it is decreased or stopped.
We ALL are affected by this.
I am not bashing them, but I must say that Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter have maximized on this tremendously. In fact, our cell phones and other electronic devices apply this concept in some ways, too.
Don’t believe me?
Think about it. When you log into your social media accounts, you are bombarded with information. However, the one thing that stands out ON PURPOSE on all these platforms is your NOTIFICATIONS. The way they are set up feeds the reward system in the brain. These things become addictive because they activate pleasure centers in the brain, similar to what a drug would do.
While researching, I read somewhere (sorry, no citation) that people on average spend 20 minutes or more on social media sites even when they intend to spend a few minutes.
Pay attention. When the mind is in that state, it is similar to a trance, and the mind can be more open to suggestion. A person can get so caught up in this reward system that the person does not realize he or she is under the control of the next like, swipe, scroll, or newest filter.
So, who or what do you give your power to? It is whatever you give these things to: your time, energy, and ultimately your mind.
Obviously, I am not writing this post to degrade social media. There are positives to it too. More than likely you found this post through a social media site!
The purpose of this post is to get you to THINK, BE CONSCIOUS, and SHIFT your mindset.
Be conscious of why you access particular accounts, or do certain behaviors. It has been said over and over that we do many things subconsciously.
Be mindful of how you feel when you see notifications or prompts to keep clicking your time away. When something feels good, we are more likely to repeat it.
And finally, Shift your mindset, and know when you need to turn these distractions off.
Encouraging you to be the power center in your life,
Did you ever hear that when you were younger, or do you have to say this now as a parent or guardian?
Well, you would have LOVED me as a child. Eating vegetables was a non-issue. Do not tell anyone, but one of my nicknames was String Bean. It had a double meaning. Some people called me a “Little Rabbit”.
As a kid, I did not like the smell of chicken, but would eat it (most of the time). At one point, I remember I had grown tired of the weird-smelling bird. One time, my mother mixed pieces of the chicken in my rice. I recall pointing at it and saying, “That’s not rice!”
For a long time, I had a love-hate relationship with sausage and eggs. ‘Why?’ You might ask.
I clearly remember biting into a sausage link and crunching into a piece of BONE. Although I was a kid, I knew something was wrong with that. So, for a little while, I only ate grits, eggs, and biscuits together. (I’m from the Southern United States).
What made me stop eating eggs for a while? One morning I saw my mom crack open a bloody egg. It grossed me out enough that I stopped for a good while. Unfortunately, with no eggs, I went back to eating sausage. I needed some type of breakfast protein, right? The dilemma!
I was a sensitive child and remember being sick from allergies and sinus infections often. I was mildly “lactose intolerant” but drank milk anyway to “build strong bones.” More on that later.
When I was about 15 years old, one of my brothers pointed out to me that my skin was breaking out. He was not talking about pimples, but a breakout like a reaction. This was DEFINITELY NOT something I wanted to hear as a teen. My brother then asked me a question that became a game changer for me. He asked, “How much soda are you drinking?” At that time, I was a soda connoisseur. Immediately, I stopped drinking sodas. If there were situations where soda was the only option, I’d pour small amounts of soda in the cup, put more than half a cup of ice, and let it melt until the soda was more like flavored water. Guess what happened when I stopped?My skin cleared up. Fast forward to now. I still do not drink sodas.
This experience sparked my awareness about the foods I was putting in my body. I asked my mom if I could start baking most of my foods instead of frying them. It felt good to make this minor change at the age of 15.
I went off to college and continued to be conscious about the foods I was eating. I chose lean meats and continued baking most of my foods. I stopped drinking whole milk and switched to 2% to reduce “side effects.”
Horror Story Number One: Beef, it’s not for breakfast.
When I graduated from college, I went to visit family members in California. For the trip back, I decided to purchase a breakfast sausage biscuit from McDonald’s at the airport. BAD IDEA. Less than 30 minutes later, I was feeling dizzy and shaky. I sat on the floor at the gate to my flight awaiting to board back home. I vomited once but managed to make it on the flight. I do not remember everything that happened on the flight, but needless to say, I spent the whole flight in the bathroom sick. When I got back to my place, I had to be taken to the hospital for dehydration and given an IV.
I stopped eating beef after that (and stopped eating McDonald’s too).
In all honesty, I was still eating pork. Bizarre, right? I gave it up one night after I cooked pork chops with gravy over rice. I just did not like the smell anymore.
Horror Story Number Two: Goodbye Chicken.
One day, on the way to work a morning shift, I went to Chic-Fil-A to have a chicken biscuit for breakfast. No big deal, right? WRONG. Within an hour, I began to have an upset stomach and was forced to leave work early. Unfortunately, I was not able to make it all the way home before I pulled over into a grocery store parking lot and vomited for what felt like 5 minutes. (Sorry for the visual.)
I had no intention to stop eating chicken or poultry, but I developed an aversion. I did not know until I had some food with chicken broth in it and it tasted disgusting. I thought I could eat turkey instead. Nope. I let poultry go completely. What meat was left at this point? Fish. I never had an issue with fish, but I did not eat it that often. Somehow, I was still eating eggs too.
I’ll share with you about eggs after these two points:
Milk
I stopped drinking cow’s milk by “accident.” In 2014 I lived with two other young women in a three-bedroom house. We had one refrigerator. At least one of my housemates did not drink cow’s milk, so to save space, we shared certain food items. We drank Almond Milk, Rice Milk, and Soy Milk. I lived there for about a year and was only drinking those types of milk. When I moved out, I had my first bowl of cereal with cow’s milk. I spit it out immediately, thinking the milk was spoiled. I had someone else taste the milk, and they said it was just fine. I tried again, but the milk tasted terribly sour.I could not make myself drink it if I tried. It was only later that I learned about the things in cow’s milk (pus and other gross stuff). So, I stopped drinking cow’s milk in 2014.
Organic Apples
Many years ago, I was curious about organic foods, so I did an experiment. I went three months eating organic apples only. Everything else I ate was either organic or not, but I made sure all the apples I ate were organic. After three months passed, I bought a mixture of organic and non-organic apples. I cut up a non-organic apple and bit into the slice. It tasted like wax. I could not believe it. Over time, I tried to eat non-organic apples, but kept getting the same result…they tasted fake. I began researching more about organic and GMO foods and was surprised at what can pass as food in the US.
Now back to eggs:
In 2015, I was on the fence about whether I should stop eating eggs. I meditated on it, asked for clarity, and asked for signs. I was pescatarian, only eating fish for meat, but I still had eggs for breakfast every day. Then it happened. The horrible memory from childhood came back to me. I was about to make a breakfast omelet and cracked open a VERY bloody egg into the mix. There was my “sign.” I stopped eating eggs from that day forward.
What was left? Fish and CHEESE.
Becoming Vegan
By this time, I was ready to give Vegan eating a chance. Vegan means no dairy products and no animal products. It is eating plant-based foods.I had close friends who were Vegan and their food tasted good. I had gone to Ghana and the family that hosted me ate Vegan as well. It didn’t seem too bad.
I sought out a friend who was Vegan and knew about nutrition. He was excited to learn about my decision and directed me to start by documenting everything I ate for a few weeks. Then, we reviewed my eating patterns. Overall, they were pretty good, but he pointed out something to me that was surprisingly true. He said, “You’re addicted to cheese.” Writing down my daily meals and snacks revealed that I had been eating cheese with EVERY meal and sometimes with snacks. He then said to me, “You need to detox from these foods and products. For your detox, you cannot have processed foods, nothing that comes in a box, no soy foods, and you will fast until 12pm or later each day, only consuming a shake if you get hungry.” He gave me a recipe for the shake and I was directed to drink plenty of water, of course.
He directed me to follow this prescription for three weeks. Being the overachiever I can be at times, I did it for 6 weeks or so. I really wanted to detox from all the crap that was in my system. During the detox, I started eating 100% Vegan foods. If I started to feel hungry, I was surprised at how filling the shakes were.
I told myself I’d give this new way of eating for 1 year, check in with my doctor, and then go from there. I had to learn a new way to prepare meals, cook, and season foods. I saw this as a positive challenge and it caused my creativity in the kitchen to increase. I started playing with oils, seasonings, and vegetables I never tried before. In hindsight, I see that I ate mostly raw meals for a while and created some staple items.
Changes I experienced while becoming Vegan:
Eating vegan, I felt more energetic, alert, and didn’t get tired after I ate. I was quicker on my feet and overall I felt happier. There were a few challenges. Going to restaurants required me to read more, ask more questions, and educate people about vegan food. I realize it made me more conscious of what I was eating and that I didn’t trust everything at restaurants. Dating became a challenge as well. Many people who expressed romantic interest in me cited my eating habits as a barrier. Oh well. I knew this issue would resolve itself. 🙂
The final test:
As I mentioned, I decided to try vegan eating for 1 full year, then do a follow up with my primary care doctor. I had bloodwork drawn, did the full physical, etc. The results came in. Everything was perfectly normal.
It was late 2016 and I had a decision to make. Do I keep eating vegan, or go back to what I used to do?
The benefits I experienced far outweighed the disadvantages. Besides being more alert and feeling energetic, my meditation practice became stronger and deeper. Working as a metaphysical teacher and coach, this new resonance amplified my skills.
So, here I am, still Vegan.
You may be wondering if I have thought about “going back”.
Yes. I thought about it just out of curiosity. I only thought about going back to fish. Oddly enough, even though I never had an issue with fish, since I have been Vegan, it does not smell good to me anymore.
I wrote this post to share my experience and satisfy curiosity you may have about the journey. I’m not trying to sway you either way. AFTER I made the decision to be Vegan, I watched many documentaries like Forks Over Knives, Fat Sick and Nearly Dead, and Supersize Me to name a few. These only supported my decision to eat plant-based foods and continue on this journey.
If you are thinking about “going Vegan”, do your research. Pay attention to your medical needs and nutritional needs and ease into the process. Seek support where needed.
I became vegan not because of the popularity or what others said, but because I listened to my body. I’m grateful that I listened.
“This is your world. Shape it or someone else will.” -Gary Lew
This is one of the reasons why I do what I do.
We live in a world where there are several, easily accessible distractions from Self and the transformative power within.
I took a hiatus from blogging and public speaking to detach and recharge from all the energetic “stuff” that has been happening, to re-mind myself of what is true for me, and to stay grounded in this knowledge by seeing through the distractions.
We can become so accustomed to looking at social media, websites, and the news that these things easily become subconscious influencers.
The next time you scroll or flip the channel, think about what you really believe, what you really desire for yourself (and the world), and if the things you are entertaining and doing match those desires. If not, put down the phone (tablet, remote, etc.), wake up from the distractions, and do something different.
“Success is something you attract by the person you become.” -Jim Rohn
Are you thinking of doing something different with your life? Do you desire to be more successful? What is stopping you?
Many people are going through their day to day lives, but they are not living. Too many of us decide that we will not pursue our goals and dreams just because of fear.
Here are 3 main things that typically stop you from achieving your goals: 1. Procrastination: This is self-sabotage at its finest. Some might even say that it is a subtle form of resistance. This is when you continue to put off what you desire to do instead of acting right now. 2. Spreading yourself too thin: This is a great recipe for excuses. This is like running around in a maze that you know how to get out of, instead you run in every other direction because of distractions that you have created. 3. Not believing in yourself: This is by far, the number one reason that people don’t go after their dreams and goals. This is the core of self-doubt, low self-confidence, and low self-esteem. They all contribute to feelings of inadequacy. You choose not to pursue a dream or goal because you compare yourself to others.
But, get this: A dream is given to you because you are the person who is meant to fulfill it. You are not just a body part, but you are a whole, individual being with a specific purpose.
It does not hurt for you to go after your dreams, and at least “try”. If you are afraid of failure, then you won’t take a risk.
Here is a quote that I love:
“The brave do not live forever. The cautious do not live at all.”
Failure is an event, not who you are. Everyone has failed at something at least once. Think about it: A baby learning to walk falls several times; a baby learning to talk makes up all kinds of sounds; a professional athlete has lost a game. The list goes on.
You might have read this somewhere else, but here is another reminder: Do not let failure stop you from the pursuit of your goals. Now, here is my version: Don’t screw yourself over.
Ask yourself these questions: What is it that I really desire to do? Why is this important to me? (Give more than a material reason. Think about the legacy you intend to leave behind.) Where am I at in the process of reaching this goal? What has stopped me or slowed me down from achieving my goal? How dedicated am I to achieving this goal?
Once you have gotten the answers, here are some practical steps to take:
1. The first step is to BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. Ask yourself: Do I believe in myself? Do I think I can do it? Believe that YOU CAN DO IT. It only takes a tiny rock of belief to transform the energy into a mountain of certainty. Say to yourself: “I THINK I CAN”
2. GET CLEAR about the actual dream or goal. What is it? What does it FEEL like? VISUALIZE what you are doing. How does it serve others?
3. RESEARCH the people who are doing similar things, and are successful at it. Learn what they did, about their failures, what worked for them, and if possible, get a mentor.
4. MAKE A PLAN AND WRITE IT DOWN. There is great power in the pen. Writing it down makes it a little more concrete, and a lot more realistic.
5. CREATE A DETAILED SCHEDULE. Most successful people have routines and schedule their days/weeks/months/years. They have learned how to maximize their time. Time is one of our most valuable assets. Once a moment has passed, it is not re-Lived. We might as well do the things with our time that support our dreams.
6. DO the first action of your plan. TAKE THAT FIRST STEP. You won’t know what works and what doesn’t work until you put it into action. DO IT.
7. BE CONSISTENT with your plan. This is what separates the “go-getters” from the “it looks good-ers”. There will be times when you might not want to be so disciplined. I completely understand! As a Libra, I love to FLOW and RELAX, but I have learned the value of consistency. Besides, doing what I love doesn’t feel like work at all. It brings me joy to be in this energetic flow of goodness. Your old habits weren’t working for you before, so you’ve got to change them. You will find the balance.
8. ACT DAILY and put focused positive energy towards your goal. Yes, this ties in with consistency, but it is also The Law of Attraction. Overall, this helps to build confidence. Practice, practice, practice commits things to memory: mentally, physically, and energetically. This is the time when you say to yourself: “I CAN”
9. If you feel discouraged or are faced with an obstacle, REFLECT UPON YOUR “WHY” (Your reason for having this goal). This helps to maintain your bigger vision and will get you out of a rut.
10. STAY CONSISTENT AND CHECK IN WITH YOUR VISION. You may notice that as you grow, it grows. This is the beauty of personal evolution; we cannot remain stuck in an old idea if we expand our mind to focus on newer and more expansive ones.
Inevitably, your “I CAN” morphs into more and more activities that support this declaration. You are DOING what you set out to do.
At some point, you will not have to think twice and you will realize that YOU ARE EMBODYING the goal. This is when you say to yourself: “I AM”
This process looks different for everyone. Yet, I do know that the most important part of this process is to START NOW and KEEP GOING.
One of my joyful gifts is assisting others to “get clear and drop the fear”. I hope that something you read in this post was useful for you today.
My passion is being of service, touching hearts, enlightening minds, guiding, and aiding in the realization of healing and wholeness. There have been several times when I have “missed the mark.” I thought that I was in the flow, being mindful, and in tune with the people that I love as well as the people that I serve.
Thinking this way, I continued in this blissful flow, forgetting an important piece of the puzzle: We all perceive things differently. While I thought I was showing love and being of the utmost service, sometimes the receivers of my actions did not feel the same way. The most sobering experience for me is to find out that I missed an opportunity to be of service because my own point of view misled the way.
Perception is powerful.
One of my favorite quotes says something like this,
“We are the Universe looking at itself from many perspectives.”
Of course! We are individualized expressions of the ONE.
For those of us who desire to serve others, we must first clear ourselves of our preconceived ideas about serving. We have to know what it is that the receiver truly needs.This may seem so simple, but sometimes it is forgotten. Our perception of another’s needs may be different than what they actually desire. We must meet them where they are, and work with them from there.
Emptying ourselves allows others’ Lights to guide us.Remember: The Essence of Life within each of us is from the same Source, and healing takes place in many forms.
To be of service, we must first see where we are being led to serve. This way, we are making the most effective impact in the lives of those whom we are meant to bless.
Observing the common themes and messages that are shared across social media outlets, I noticed a trend. There seems to be an increase in messages about consciousness and spiritual evolution. What a wonderful experience to see that more people are waking up and getting an innerstanding of Truth.
But, a question comes to mind: Is your life reflecting what you are speaking?
The beauty of evolving is that we learn, our perspectives shift, and then we become demonstrators.
We are living in a time when feel good messages are not enough. It is imperative that we are DOERS and follow through with what we are called to DO.
During this winter season, do some introspection. Take the time to consider what you need to ACT on. When each of us takes the initiative and are postively in action, the peaceful world that we envision becomes a greater reality.
I have been hiding. I tricked myself into thinking that I was doing the most that I could do, but honestly I was comfortable with hiding. Finally, it caught up with me.
One of my gifts is to see potential in people and to speak to that potential, which encourages its development. I LOVE doing this, and it comes naturally to me.
One day, I was talking to a friend, and my gift of knowing was doing its thing. I told my friend that he should speak in front of more people and more often. I also told him that I could see him speaking to larger audiences and really influencing masses of people. I was in the zone, and on a roll, allowing the inspiring words to flow. Then, I stopped to take in his response.
He paused, nodded slowly, and stared contemplatively in the distance. Then, he looked at me and said, “Dana, YOU need to speak to more people, more often. People need to hear YOU talk. YOU need a bigger audience.”
“Wait…what?” was my first thought. If it were anyone else, then I may have laughed and thought the person was joking or mocking my words. However, I value my deep friendship with this person, and I greatly value his opinion, so I listened as he continued to encourage me to step out of my shell.
I couldn’t say, “No, you’re wrong” because his words stirred something up in me.I slowly nodded and said, “Yes, I will speak to larger groups of people.” We both nodded and smiled together in agreement.
Not long after the conversation with my friend, I received an invitation to be the guest speaker at the Spiritual Living Center of Atlanta. I remembered my conversation with my friend, and as I had promised myself (with him as a witness), I said Yes.
The event was months away, so I had some time to prepare. I began to imagine what it would be like to speak in front of masses of people and to share inspiring messages. I even changed my Facebook profile picture to one that was taken when I shared a poem at an open mic event. I began studying public speakers, and started to pay closer attention to their techniques. It was scary to think about myself on the stage (and still is at times), but even more, it is exciting. I began to embrace it, take ownership, and started practicing more through visualization and small talks at venues.
I started to find my own way to share my messages, and I gave myself permission to take more risks.
Now…the event is definitely happening on November 29th, and I am honored to be on the stage.
All of this is taking place because I let the positive words of a good friend influence my belief in myself.
Who are the people in your life who lift you up and see you at higher levels than you see yourself? Spend more time with them. Allow them to talk you into things you may have once thought were too far- fetched to happen. They just might be angel messengers in human form.
I am grateful that I listened, and now I am breaking out of my shell. I am allowing myself to express my Divinely inspired gifts in all the ways that I can, with as many people as I can.(It also helps to have someone to hold me accountable.)
I am very excited to see where this new step forward in my journey leads me, and I am open to it! November 29th…
“Do what you can, where you are, with what you have, and never be satisfied.” -Les Brown
Many people express that they don’t pursue a dream or a goal because they want the conditions to be a certain way, or they want things to be perfect. In reality, the conditions won’t change until the person decides to get into motion and to continue to stay in action.
I can admit, in the past, I have been guilty of putting off a goal or a desire due to circumstances. In the past, I have told myself that I had to wait until the situation was perfect or certain pieces were in place. True, there were times when it was necessary to wait on the other pieces of the puzzle, but it was never time to stop doing things towards my goals and desires.
The Law of Attraction expresses that whatever we put energy and attention towards is what we draw unto us. This universal law is simple, and can be actively applied to manifest one’s desires.
However, here is something to consider: If someone told you that your present situation and surroundings are the result of your past thoughts and actions, would you be bothered, or would you be willing to take responsibility for yourself?
One of the hardest things that I had to admit to myself was that I am responsible for myself and my progress.You are responsible for yours too.
Of course, this does not mean that you won’t face challenges and obstacles along the way, but it does mean that you can choose the course of action you take once they arise. Ideally, when a challenge arises, one of the best things you can do is mindfully look within and look at key areas connected to this challenge.
Four key areas to examine when facing challenges: 1) Thoughts–What do I really think about this situation? OR What are my exact thoughts? 2) Emotions–How do I really feel about this situation? 3) Underlying Messages–What is this situation helping me to learn? 4) Positive Behaviors–What am I able to do right now that supports a positive outcome?
Examining these things gives you an opportunity to shift a possibly negative perspective into an empowered one. This empowered perspective is one where you recognize that you have choice, and you can make a decision based on the understanding that you are always learning and evolving. Depending on the situation, the choice itself can range anywhere from sweet surrender to engaging in more focus-driven actions.
It is your choice.
Remember: Every action (or lack thereof) always results in some type of outcome.
Think about your life goals and how far you have come towards meeting these goals. Consider the one most important thing that affects the realization of your goals: YOU
What are you focusing on daily? What are you doing daily? Are your thoughts and actions moving you towards or away from your goals? You always have choice.
Right now, you have made a choice to read this post. In reading this, my hope is that you are gaining some insight or awareness about yourself and how powerful you really are.
There is one thing that I would change about the wording Les Brown used in the quote above.
I would say:
“Do what you can, where you are, with what you have, AND continue to expand.”
There is power in your decision to stay in motion.
This quote speaks volumes.
Metaphysical Freedom 