Metaphysical Freedom

Psychotherapy/Counseling, Metaphysical Coaching (Life and Business), Counselor Consultation and Supervision, Mindfulness-Based Energy Work

Category Archives: letting go


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The Reality of Suicide (From a Healer’s Perspective)

As a psychotherapist, one of the last things that I want to hear is that one of my clients has killed himself or herself (or someone else). It is not because of a personal feeling of failure, but more so because of a sense that somewhere in the process, my client has lost hope. As therapists, one of our most powerful intentions is to at least instill hope. It is not a starry wish, but a sense of purpose and encouragement.

When I was in graduate school, I was drawn to the more intense subjects such as traumatology, addiction, and crisis stabilization work. I loved them! I remember sitting in a crisis intervention class and hearing my professor clearly state, “In all your years as a therapist, all of you will lose at least one client to suicide. Be prepared for it. It will happen. Oh, and those of you who are working with trauma and addiction, you can definitely expect it to happen.” He spoke those words with a matter-of-factness that revealed long years of personal experience. I did not want to believe him, but I also knew that there was some underlying realness to what he said.
Even with this warning, I pressed on and continued down the path to become a licensed therapist. I did not and could not lose hope in the long-lasting positive impact of the work we do. I believed that following my passion and helping others to see their inner light was worth much more than living in fear of those who might not see it.

And here I am… 6 years and 2 client deaths later.
I will not get into too much detail about the 2 client deaths; however I will say that both were due to overdoses. They were very sobering experiences for me. I re-learned that suicide shows up in many forms. It can be a drug overdose, hanging, gunshot wound, stabbing, train, car, traffic, etc.

For a little while, I even worked for a crisis hotline. Some of the callers were blatantly at the point where they had chosen to end their lives. I encouraged some to rethink their situations and to see that life might actually be worth living. However for some, I do not know if they did or did not take their lives…the calls simply just ended.
Ironically enough, I didn’t feel disappointment, but gratitude. How might one be grateful for such a thing? I fully understood that the conversations that I had with the callers may have been their last conversations ever. I was at least thankful to talk to them in the present moment and be some type of positive, loving voice before they departed (or decided to live).

A spiritual reality about suicide came to me as well:

A person’s exit from this world is not an accident. The way we transition may serve a greater purpose, just like the way we live. It is true that sometimes a person’s life purpose may not be easily understood or clear. But be aware that every life, no matter how short, undoubtedly leaves a precious legacy on this planet.

Every day that I choose to continue working as a psychotherapist, the possibility of losing a client to suicide/overdose/something exists. Yet, if a little piece of hope surfaces, then I believe there is a chance that the person will see tomorrow. I Know the power of hope. It starts as a glimmer, and then it becomes a belief. Belief is when the person sees more light and direction. Then a belief transforms into Knowing. Knowing (in this context) is when the person is aware that Life Is.
If you or someone you love is struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts, or self-harm, please Know that There is Hope.
For nationwide support in the United States you can contact: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)

Your life Is valuable. Be blessed today.


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Seeking and Allowing

There are times when you want something so eagerly that you become obsessed with seeing it come to fruition. You might even pray and replay this desire over in your mind until it seems to be an automatic thought embedded into your subconscious. You might even begin to feel the ‘If I could just do this, then this will happen’ syndrome forming. But wait.

It is true that visualization, feelingization, visioning, and intentional focus are key elements for bringing your desires forth. However, when these tools go from being exciting and inspiring to routine and monotonous habits, then you have switched gears. It means that you have gone from the openness of allowing into the muddy waters of controlling. And frankly, trying to control just doesn’t work.
When you attempt to control something, it is the perfect formula for progress in the opposite direction of what you desire. Controlling behavior is on a lower level vibration of consciousness; it is based out of fear. Unfortunately, when you focus on your desire from this point of view, you bring the fear into reality.

How can you overcome the desire to control? Remember to seek and allow.

Seeking is the active pursuit to gain knowledge and understanding of something, or to literally search for something. When a person seeks something, he or she does not always know what the exact outcome will be because there is a subtle openness to allow the information to flow in.
Allowing is being open and receptive, removing attention away from the desire, and knowing that the desire will occur as it is meant to.

Many people mistake allowing for passivity. It is not passivity. It is the active application of faith. Allowing occurs when we remove the need to control and actually step out on “blind faith”, into the unknown.

I went through my college undergraduate years without having a car. I really wanted a car, but the opportunity for a reliable and inexpensive one didn’t present itself during that time. Right before I graduated college, I began searching and applying for jobs. By the time I graduated, I was jobless, car-less, and had moved back home to live with one of my brothers. I continued with the job search, but also took breaks and focused my energy on other activities. A few months passed. One day I got a call from a director of a program at the university that I graduated from. The director said, “I was told that you are an excellent worker. We need someone to come and work in our department. Can you do a phone interview at the end of next week?” I said yes.

I spent most of that week searching for a new car. I found one that I liked, but the dealer told me that I had to at least show proof of income since I had no type of credit. (I graduated debt free.) I left the dealership with a knowingness that I would get that car. I just knew it was meant for me, but I didn’t know how I would get it. My parents couldn’t afford to buy it at the time, and besides, I wanted to do it on my own.

The night before the interview, I contacted my oldest sister and told her about the job and the car. I asked her to pray with me. I vaguely remember everything that was said in the prayer, but I know that she declared the job and the car were mine. What I remember the most is how I felt during and after the prayer. I was calm, yet excitedly expectant. I just knew that something good was coming.

The interview happened the next day. It was going well and coming to a close when the panel asked me one last question: “Will you have a reliable car to travel in?” Without hesitation I said, “Yes.” They thanked me and told me that they would notify me of their decision.

A few weeks later I found out that I got the job, and they mailed me an offer letter. I took that letter down to the car dealership. I got the new car that I wanted.

Several other events similar to this have occurred in my life and continue to occur. I have become more conscious of my role and I use this awareness to allow more expansive opportunities to come forth. I have learned that part of receiving what I truly desire starts with seeing it, feeling it, knowing it is mine, and letting go of the way it happens.

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I leave this message for you:
“Do not look for something that is already yours. Expect it. Do you look for your lungs while you breathe? Do you search for your eyes as you read? No. You know that they are there.
Do Not search for what is already yours. Know it is yours and expect it. Do not expect it within a certain time frame, but expect it with certainty. Allow it to be. It Is already yours.”

Dana D. Robinson

 

Peace and blessings,
Intuitive Dana
http://www.metaphysicalfreedom.com


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Forgiving and Moving Forward

I have done a number of workshops on forgiveness. I came up with these workshop ideas because I noticed that across the board, many of my clients had underlying resentments. These issues were preventing them from receiving what they really desired. I chose to do these workshops also because I did some extensive forgiveness work with my father. I experienced some amazing and mind-blowing results. (I will share the story with you about my father in a later post.) In this post, I am addressing forgiveness because once again I was put in the place of doing so.

Many people will admit that it can be hard to forgive a former romantic partner. I definitely can.
I was in a long-term relationship with someone who, in the end, realized that he did not want the relationship, noting that he was not ready for it. I became upset with him because I felt that he should have known this before we had been together for as long as we had been. I also was upset because, based on some of his behaviors, he seemed like he already knew that he didn’t want the relationship well before he spoke up about it. When he ended the relationship, he expressed to me that we should be friends, but I was just not ready to hear those words. This was disappointing to hear because I was expecting more to develop in the relationship itself at that time.

We had a set of mutual friends who had a habit of asking me where he was whenever they saw me. I became angry, defensive, and would fight back glaring looks as I haughtily remarked, “You know we’re not together right?” They would look at me and gently say, “But you two are friends.” I thought they were insane. This type of pattern went on for several months. I grew angrier because he seemed to be nowhere around to deal with the mess he had made.

One day I decided to seek a neutral spiritualist perspective, so I spoke with a Tarot reader about the situation. She looked at the cards and said, “You’re holding a grudge against him. You two can’t be friends if you are holding a grudge.” I was a little surprised that she said that to me (being that I am a Healer and could heal myself and others), but I knew it was true. The surprise was moreso that the grudge itself was upset because it could no longer hide in the shadows of my subconscious. I reflected on her words and the nature of the grudge.
Every time that I looked at him post-breakup, I viewed him with eyes of criticism, judgment, anger, and hurt; looking for all his faults. Before the breakup, I saw him with more clarity. I saw his spirit, appreciated his compassion, his kindness, enjoyed his talents, and admired his quest to bless many by shining his own Light. That is what I loved about him. It was not his behaviors that I loved, but him as he is. It was time to let go.

Thus, I had to begin the journey of forgiveness again. I thought to myself, “If I can forgive my dad for the abuse growing up and for not being there for me the way that I needed him to be, then I can truly forgive a guy that I have only known for a few years.” Yet I struggled. I felt as if I didn’t have to forgive him because he was the one that did something wrong. In reality, we both played a part in what happened between us. (More on that later in this post.)

What does it take to forgive? One of the most important things is the willingness to do so. Before I could get to the place of saying that I forgive him for his behaviors, I had to at least say, “I am willing to forgive you for them.”
From the willingness, grew the readiness to forgive. Once I was ready to forgive, I was able to look at the entire situation from the lenses of Love. This was not human, conditional love, but unconditional Divine Love.

I sat down, took out a sheet of paper, and wrote out all of the wrongs that I felt happened in the relationship. I wrote them vigorously with serious intention to let go. I then took out another sheet of paper and wrote out all of the things that I loved about him. Holding that loving feeling in my conscious awareness, I went back to the list of wrongs. I drew a line under them, and wrote the sentence, ‘I forgive you for…’ as I went through each item. I tore that paper up, saying out loud, “I set myself free.”
I looked back at the list of things that I loved about him. When I looked at those things again, I saw that they weren’t conditional at all; they were the Essence of who He Is. I chose to appreciate his presence in my life, even though it wasn’t in the way that I desired. He played a role that sparked me to grow as a person.

Then, a deeper knowing struck me–I needed to forgive myself for allowing things to continue in a way that I did not desire or deserve. I needed to forgive myself because I love me as well. I did the same ritual that I did for him, but for myself this time. It was insightful, yet freeing. All of those things that happened between us began to seem so small. I knew that none of it really mattered. I could see that Ultimate Love remained present through it all.

This is what I hope you take away from reading this post:
Although forgiveness may be challenging at times, it is extremely powerful when done from a place of Love. Forgiveness empowers you, sets you free, and releases the old energy tied into something that really has no power in your present life. It opens up the doorway to live more beautiful and desirable lives.

Now that I have chosen to forgive, I am ecstatic to see the beauty that is allowed to grow because of the loving space that I have created. You may do the same for yourself as well.
And so it isLily Pad Pink Lotus Flower.


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How Loving Another Reflects Self-Love

Relationships are very dynamic experiences that, by far, are one of the most important aspects of Life. We are always in relationship with someone or something at all times; including our Self. Some of the most profound interpersonal relationships that we experience are related to those who parent us (grandparents, biological parents, step parents, adopted, guardians, etc.), those whom we call family, those whom we have romantic interests, and those whom we view as allies.

When I was 15 years old, I read the Bible verses on the nature of love (1 Corinthians 13:4-8 for those of you who are curious). In summary, it says that love is patient, kind, forgiving, selfless, always victorious, and is Eternal. For some reason, I felt a strong conviction in my heart and made a vow to myself that I would learn to love others just like it is written in those verses. I had already believed that love was a powerful force, and I was becoming more aware of the misuse of the word in every day society and media.

Little did I know, this vow seemed to be the precipice for increased difficulties in all of my relationships over many years. I had problems with my family, was isolated from my friends, changed jobs often, and faced painful romantic failures too.
From my point of view, I loved others unconditionally, but was only being let down in return. I wanted to blame everyone else, but I couldn’t. I forgave easily. I didn’t hold grudges. I let people walk in and out of my life as they pleased. I had the misconception that this is how I could show others love. While everyone else received such forgiveness, I secretly got angry with myself for being such a pushover.

It didn’t dawn on me that I was missing Self-Love until I went through a period of time where I was forced to live alone, with no television. I had a spacious home, but no furniture, and no bed. I was single and dateless. I ate my meals cross-legged on the floor, and I slept on an air mattress during the night. I spent most of my time reading religious books and spiritual texts, doing energy healings, and meditating. Life was very simple, but fulfilling.

During this time, I reflected on my understanding of love and relationships. I realized that I had fallen prey to associating love with pain and drama. All of my challenging relationships essentially showed me how much I needed to look within. I was only experiencing what I subconsciously believed. I discovered how important it was to know myself, express what I need, and to let go of relationships that were not healthy for me. I learned what it meant to take care of myself and love who I Am. I finally understood that it was okay to say no and to set limits with others. With this new knowledge, my desire to embody unconditional love did not change; however my understanding of what it looks like did.

These are my valuable lessons on love:
Loving someone means allowing the person to be exactly who he or she is, even if that person is not what you desire. It does not necessarily mean putting that person’s needs over yours, but respecting yourself, your needs, and compromising in a reasonable way. Loving someone is appreciating the experience that you share, while also letting go of expectations.

Loving someone stems from first knowing yourself, loving who you are, and allowing Life to flow as it may.

What lessons have you learned?