Love is more than just a feeling. Love Is a way of Living.
Modern culture frequently displays love as a sense of feel-good, fantasy, and endless romantic awe. Yet, these types of examples are temporary expressions of a bigger, more infinite concept. Think about this:When did you first learn about love? Who told you what it means? What thoughts, feelings, and experiences do you associate with love?
Many years ago, I had the misconception that love = suffering. I thought that loving someone always meant to sacrifice, to put the other first, and to stretch myself in order to make the other person happy. I did this not only in romantic relationships, but also in relationships that I considered to be very important to me.
However, one common and major thing kept happening…I was left feeling betrayed, used, and alone.
This sent me on a journey to re-evaluate my understanding of love. I reflected upon my experiences, looked at the spiritual aspect, read books, and then went out and asked questions from my elders.
One of my favorite graduate professors was in his late 80s. He shared this definition of love: “To take delight in the spiritual development of another”. When I first heard it, I felt a squiggly warmth and childlike curiosity. The definition seemed so plain, but when you look at it more closely, it actually involves several layers.
To take delight in another person’s spiritual development also includes the ability to let go of expectation, to eliminate judgment, and to release the need to be right. This way of loving causes you to accept a person as he or she is, because you are aware that spiritual growth is always taking place. To love in this way is to understand that the person is doing the best that he or she can, based upon his or her own circumstances (thoughts, beliefs, actions, feelings)…even if you don’t like it.
Don’t get me wrong. If someone is treating you in a way that is condescending, harmful, or life-threatening, and using “love” as the reason, I am not referring to this situation. This is not love. This is manipulation and abuse.
The love that I am referring to is made up of thoughtfulness, positive regard, and a healthy detachment. Yes, detachment. I’m sure you’ve heard someone say, “If you love someone, you will let ‘em go.”
Loving someone on the spirit level creates a greater sense of freedom for you and that person.
In various Biblical and spiritual texts, it is expressed that “God is Love” (Feel free to put The Universe, Creator, Allah, etc)…and “This Love is unconditional.”
Other texts also express that “Love casts out all fear.” Most of us have attached ourselves to others in unhealthy ways, saying it is love, when it is actually fear. Let go of the fear.
Look and see that the person is on his or her spiritual journey, and smile. Your supportive presence (even if at a distance) is more valuable than hovering around negatively out of your own worry.
Most importantly, see yourself this way. Be there for yourself as you go through your spiritual development. Remember, Real Love is unconditional anyway.
Take delight in your own journey as you Evolve in Love.
“Nobody with innocence loves to go to jail. But if he puts you in jail, you go in that jail and transform it from a dungeon of shame to a haven of freedom and human dignity. Even if he tries to kill you, you develop the inner conviction that there are some things so dear, some things so precious, some things so eternally true that they are worth dying for…” –Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
If there is one thing that I would change about the quote above, it is this: “What are you willing to LIVE for? What do you desire to see changed in the world we live in right now?”
February is celebrated as Black History month in the United States of America. It is also the month where they celebrate Love, Romance, and relationships in honor of St. Valentine.
When I pondered upon what this month means for me, I thought about the fact that there really is not a specific month to represent the history of all beings. My history is your history because we are all connected, and inevitably we all impact each other worldwide.
I also began thinking about the state of the social structure in this nation. There is unrest among many groups of people who are called the “minority” in the United States of America. The nature of this unrest is a recurrence of similar themes that have spanned over several generations. There are rallies against injustice, war, and inequality for all humans. This history seems to repeat itself, while the people headlining the movements are the only difference.
Why is this the case? What is missing?
Soldiers are deployed and encouraged to fight for their country and the freedom of their people. Yet, right here in our own land, many are not Free.
Freedom first begins in the mind.
If a group of people have been taught to believe and perceive their world from an inferior perspective, then their lives will continue to reflect this status, even if they do rally against their status. This is because they are creating what they focus upon. Do not get me wrong, there currently exists a covert and overt hierarchy in American society which affects various groups of people in different, yet painful ways. This hierarchy exists because the nation was created by a group of people who believed that to divide, conquer, and monopolize power was the way to live.
But it is not.
Violence, separation, and destruction only breed injustice, greed, and death.
It takes a conscious movement of everyone in solidarity in order for this ancient, ineffective system to be eradicated. I have read that the largest population in the United States right now is the generation born between the early 1980’s and early 2000’s, also known as Generation Y or the Millennials.
Why does this matter? The largest population in any place can have a huge impact on society. It begins with a shift in conscious awareness, collectively joining together, and is followed by mindful action.
Think about what your ideal world looks like. Is there a major disparity among groups of people based on the color of their skin or partner preference? Of course not.
What can you do to shift things in the direction that makes this ideal world more tangible?
If you are passionate about it, then you have the first ingredient that is needed to take action. Every piece of this Peace puzzle has a major part. First, begin to connect with others who believe in your cause. Second, discuss solutions from a collective and conscious point of view. Third, mindfully put things in motion from a solution-focused perspective. You will see just how much the world you desire begins to unfold.
You and I are the game-changers. We are the ones to lead a conscious movement, not by repeating old patterns of our predecessors, but by acting from a higher state of awareness and connectedness that focuses on the solution to the problems we face now. We need each other, and we are the answer.
We must create and influence the world that we desire to live in.
There is a burning inside of me. I cannot ignore it. There is a purpose that calls from far away. I have to answer. There is a Vision that shows up in my dreams, and it is pouring into my waking life. It Must be My Reality.
What shall I do?
Today, I have chosen to outgrow fear of the unknown. What is the worst that could happen? I could have never tried to live out my dream. That is the worst that could have happened.
–Dana D. Robinson
Miracles are but Divine Orchestration at its finest! Here is a personal story about my experience with saying YES to my Spirit and a greater calling:
Fall 2014: My heart was set on going to Cambodia in January 2015 for an outreach project through my spiritual center, but the Universe told me something different.
Let me rewind. It started with a Joel Fotinos talk and workshop on “living my purpose”. At the workshop, I felt so convicted to focus on my job at the time, build a large savings, and “tough it out” a little longer before I stepped out on my own as a fully self-employed entrepreneur. That Sunday, I had also made up my mind that I was going to take some vacation time off work and go to Cambodia with the group.
The next morning, I did an extended meditation on my decision to leave and asked for guidance regarding my next steps. I was told very clearly to go to Africa instead. I wanted to go to Africa for years, but it never seemed like the right time. During that meditation, I asked which country I should go to. I was clearly told to go to Ghana. I simply said, “Yes, okay” and let go of any other attachment to it.
That following Sunday, I went to the spiritual center and the senior minister did a talk on Beauty for Ashes. It really struck me so hard that I was tearful and attended both services. I realized that I was holding on to fear, and was not happy with the situation I was in.
That afternoon (Sunday) I felt led to go to a local organic food store to get dinner and relax. I randomly met an interesting guy there in the store café, who happened to be a Financial Adviser. I did not feel afraid, so shared with him that I felt the pull to go to Ghana. He was receptive, and kindly shared some financial planning and abundance building tools with me in exchange for a Reading. It was a cool experience!
The next morning on Monday, I went to work feeling discontent. I was very detached and could intuitively feel myself leaving the job soon. That evening, I went to a vibe session (music, poetry, open mic, etc). One of the guys there asked me about the work that I do and invited me to come and do healings at another event the next evening. I agreed.
Tuesday, at work, one of my co-workers yelled at me and became verbally aggressive. The entire staff and director witnessed what happened, but no one said anything. I remained calm, but felt a strong desire to leave and not return. I knew it wasn’t for me, but I kept on working. That night, I did the healings at the event, and it was fantastic! I felt rejuvenated!
Wednesday, I went in to work very early to try to regain some sense of loyalty to the company. One of my very quiet and soft spoken co-workers came very early too. We were the only two there. She looked up at me and said, “You need to get out of here. What they are doing is wrong, and they don’t care about the workers. If you are able to go, then you should go.”
It was one of those moments when I could tell that Spirit was speaking to me without a doubt. I looked at her and said, “I can find a job in 6 weeks, I’m sure.” She strongly agreed with me.
I sent a text to my oldest brother and asked him if it seemed crazy to leave my job and go to Africa. He text me back, “I have been paralyzed for too long in my life. Go where Spirit leads you.” All I could do was sit in awe at his response. But, I still went through the routine at work, and found it very difficult to stay focused that day.
That evening, I went to a class located in a store in the west side. I overheard a person at the store say “Africa“. I went straight to this person and asked if he mentioned the continent. He was very nice, and shared with me that he had been to Ghana and other African countries. He told me that one of the women who worked with him had connections in Ghana and I should contact her. I agreed to reach out to her during regular business hours.
Thursday, I had to take a client to court (part of the job). At the court house, the client was very rude and even yelled at me. In the years that I have worked as a psychotherapist, I have had supernatural patience and compassion for my clients. That day, it was different. I stayed calm, but I excused myself and stepped into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and said, “I’m done.” None of what I was doing felt right anymore. What’s funny is that at the same time, one of my friends text me and said, “Had enough yet?” I was appalled, but I text back, “Yes!”
That same day, the HR Manager at the company called me into the office late that afternoon. She never looked me in the eyes, but said they had to terminate my contract with them, stating that I was affecting their billing. (By the way, they were asking me to do things that were not ethical, so I did not do them). When I left out of their office, I celebrated and felt so elated and free. I kept saying, “Yes! Yes! Yes!”
Friday, I went back to west side and met with the woman who had connections in Ghana. We talked for hours, and she asked very profound questions. I noticed that she was very curious and smiled confidently at me. She provided me with information about places to go, how to get my Visa, and what I would need to do and have in order to make the trip. Then she did something that gave me chills…
She pulled out her computer and began emailing someone who she knew that also lived there. She wrote a little bit about me, and then had me to write a few things about myself, and provide my contact information. I thanked her, we ended our conversation, and I went along my way feeling happy and open.
I talked to my oldest brother on the phone, and he asked me, “When are you going to Africa?” I laughed quietly. He said, “Hmm. Christmas is coming up. That’ll be your gift. A ticket to go.” I could tell he was serious. I was baffled and could only say, “Thank you.”
The next day (Saturday) I received a call from a foreign number. It was the gentleman who lives in Africa! We talked for over an hour and a half. He was very articulate, strategic in his questioning, and thorough. I found out that he is an educational consultant who travels to different countries. He asked several prominent questions. He asked me, “What do you see yourself doing?” I shared that I had thoughts/visions about teaching, but I also wanted to learn more about the culture to see what I can do to best serve the people. He then said, “What do you need me to help you with?” I was honest and shared that I needed assistance with housing because I wanted to stay longer than a week or two–more like a month.
He was quiet for a moment, and then shared with me that the woman I met at the store was a very long-time friend of his… 20 plus years. He told me that he trusts her judgment and knew that she referred me to him because she felt like I was serious about going. He paused, took a deep breath, and then spoke slowly and carefully saying, “I spoke with my wife, and she agreed that you could stay with us while you are here. Also, I know that I can get you into at least one school where you can teach if that is what you want.” My jaw dropped, my eyes teared up, and I felt ecstatic! I said, “YES” and thanked him.
He and I continued talking every few days, and linked up on social media. I learned that he also works in the human services field, and has built a good business for himself.
One day, we were talking, and he shared that he and his family would be coming to a nearby state. “I would love to meet you in person,” he stated. “Yes,” I agreed. “I will drive to where you are and meet up with you.”
I met with the family on the first day of this New Year! The father was kind, his wife was sweet, and his children were so polite and curious. I felt at ease with them. The father and I talked all night, got up early, and talked until mid-afternoon the next day! If we both didn’t have to travel several hours, I am sure that we would have kept on talking well into the night!
What I loved the most is that it wasn’t just mindless chatter. We talked about life challenges, relationships, psychology, consciousness, books, and various philosophies. I had desired a mentor to help me to grow in my field of work. Not just any mentor, though. I desired for it to be someone who has similar life-views, lots of educational training, a successful business, unwavering discipline, and compassion. I felt like a student that had finally connected with a long-awaited teacher.
Recently, my mentor and I were discussing our personal visions for this year. We discovered that we have similar visions regarding the outreach that we would like to do. It was in this conversation that he asked me, “Can you stay for two months? There is so much work that needs to be done.”
My first thought was, “Yes.”
Why not?
I know that the Universe conspires to support our dreams. All we have to do is: 1) Listen for instructions 2) Say “Yes” 3) Follow Divine Guidance 4) Be ready to receive