I believe that these three words can have more weight than “I love you”. For instance, I love people in general and I love my cat. Based on a previous definition I gave of love (Love…Anyone?), it is impersonal but also delightful.
Trust, on the other hand, is very personal. Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary defines trust as “assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.” Sounds quite personal to me. Trust can be developed, or it can already be established, depending on the situation.
Either way, it can be lost.
Someone can love another person but feel he or she cannot trust that person. Trust is a delicate gift that requires vulnerability.
In my profession of healing and transformation, the people I serve must trust me. They trust me to keep their best interests in mind. They trust me to be knowledgeable and experienced in the services I provide. They trust me to honor their sacredness and respect their privacy. Most of my clients do not say the three words out loud, but their actions and willingness in the sessions speak to this truth.
Ultimately, when you trust someone, you are allowing yourself to be in the vulnerable space of innocence and complete surrender. One of the most detrimental things that can happen in this line of work is for the healer to violate or break the trust of their client.
I could go further into this issue, but I will focus more on things you can do (as a client) to see if someone is trustworthy. These suggestions are geared towards the healing profession; however they can also be applied to personal interactions as well:
Do your research (Is the person qualified? What do others say about their experiences with the person? What skills/characteristics are you looking for?)
Listen to your gut (Intuition supersedes intellect; Do you feel safe? Do you feel heard? Do you feel respected?)
Ask questions (Get clarification on whatever you need to.)
Express yourself (Make your requests and needs known. Then refer back to number 2.)
In a society that promotes selfishness and self-centered gains, it is important for those of us in the healing profession to be selfless and genuine about providing the service the client needs.
The MOST VITAL part of any healing relationship is TRUST.
WREK Radio Interview March 6th at 12 Noon (Eastern) 91.1 FM
It’s March 2017 already! When I look back at my previous posts, I see how much I continue to evolve as an individual. When I look at things happening within the world, I see just how much we are evolving as people.
I intentionally took a hiatus from bloggingto allow myself the time to get clear and to be in a mental and emotional space of peace to keep sharing Truth with the world. I have been working on posts, but have not put them up yet. One of the main things I have felt the pull to do lately is to speak out more. So, with that being ”said”, I did a radio interview with a local radio station in Atlanta, GA on the North Avenue Lounge show. In this interview I share my story and work as a Metaphysical and Spiritual Teacher and Coach. It will air on MONDAY, MARCH 6th at 12 Noon (Eastern Time) on WREK Radio 91.1 FM.
This is one of many speaking engagements that I have coming up in 2017. I will also share with you (Beloved reader) through videos, and of course blog posts, too.
In numerology, 2017 equates to 1, which is “New Beginnings”. My life path number is the Master Number 11. The more I own what I am here to do, the more I empower myself and serve you. Great things are coming. Matter of fact, they are already happening.
As a psychotherapist, one of the last things that I want to hear is that one of my clients has killed or taken the life of himself or herself (or someone else). It is not because of a personal feeling of failure, but because of a sense that somewhere in the process, my client has lost hope. As therapists, one of our most powerful intentions is to instill hope. It is not a starry wish, but a sense of purpose and encouragement.
When I was in graduate school, I was drawn to the more intense subjects such as traumatology, addiction, and crisis stabilization work. I loved them! I remember sitting in a crisis intervention class and hearing my professor clearly state, “In all your years as a therapist, all of you will lose at least one client to suicide. Be prepared for it. It will happen. Oh, and those of you who are working with trauma and addiction, you can definitely expect it to happen.” He spoke those words with a matter-of-factness that revealed long years of personal experience. I did not want to believe him, but I also knew that there was some underlying realness to what he said.
Even with this warning, I pressed on and continued down the path to become a licensed therapist. I did not and could not lose hope in the long-lasting positive impact of the work we do. I believed that following my passion and helping others to see their inner light was worth much more than living in fear of those who might not see it.
For a little while, I even worked for a crisis hotline. Some of the callers were blatantly at the point where they had chosen to end their lives. I encouraged some to rethink their situations and to see that life might actually be worth living. However for some, I do not know if they did or did not take their lives…the calls simply just ended.
Ironically enough, I didn’t feel disappointment, but gratitude. How might one be grateful for such a thing? I fully understood that the conversations that I had with the callers may have been their last conversations ever. I was at least thankful to talk to them in the present moment and be some type of positive, loving voice before they departed (or decided to live).
And here I am… 8 years and 2 client suicides later.
I will not get into too much detail about the 2 client suicides; however I will say that both were very sobering experiences for me. I re-learned that suicide shows up in many forms.
A spiritual reality about suicide came to me as well:
A person’s exit from this world is not an accident. The way we transition may serve a greater purpose, just like the way we live. It is true that sometimes a person’s life purpose may not be easily understood or clear. But be aware that every life, no matter how short, undoubtedly leaves a precious legacy on this planet.
Every day that I choose to continue working as a psychotherapist and addiction counselor, the possibility of losing a client to suicide, overdose, or something exists. Yet, if a little piece of hope surfaces, then I believe there is a chance that the person will see tomorrow. I Know the power of hope. It starts as a glimmer, and then it becomes a belief. Belief is when the person sees more light and direction. Then a belief transforms into Knowing. Knowing (in this context) is when the person is aware that Life Is.
If you or someone you love is struggling with depression, suicidal thoughts, or self-harm, please Know that There is Hope.
For nationwide support in the United States you can contact: 1-800-273-TALK (8255)
My passion is being of service, touching hearts, enlightening minds, guiding, and aiding in the realization of healing and wholeness. There have been several times when I have “missed the mark.” I thought that I was in the flow, being mindful, and in tune with the people that I love as well as the people that I serve.
Thinking this way, I continued in this blissful flow, forgetting an important piece of the puzzle: We all perceive things differently. While I thought I was showing love and being of the utmost service, sometimes the receivers of my actions did not feel the same way. The most sobering experience for me is to find out that I missed an opportunity to be of service because my own point of view misled the way.
Perception is powerful.
One of my favorite quotes says something like this,
“We are the Universe looking at itself from many perspectives.”
Of course! We are individualized expressions of the ONE.
For those of us who desire to serve others, we must first clear ourselves of our preconceived ideas about serving. We have to know what it is that the receiver truly needs.This may seem so simple, but sometimes it is forgotten. Our perception of another’s needs may be different than what they actually desire. We must meet them where they are, and work with them from there.
Emptying ourselves allows others’ Lights to guide us.Remember: The Essence of Life within each of us is from the same Source, and healing takes place in many forms.
To be of service, we must first see where we are being led to serve. This way, we are making the most effective impact in the lives of those whom we are meant to bless.
Observing the common themes and messages that are shared across social media outlets, I noticed a trend. There seems to be an increase in messages about consciousness and spiritual evolution. What a wonderful experience to see that more people are waking up and getting an innerstanding of Truth.
But, a question comes to mind: Is your life reflecting what you are speaking?
The beauty of evolving is that we learn, our perspectives shift, and then we become demonstrators.
We are living in a time when feel good messages are not enough. It is imperative that we are DOERS and follow through with what we are called to DO.
During this winter season, do some introspection. Take the time to consider what you need to ACT on. When each of us takes the initiative and are postively in action, the peaceful world that we envision becomes a greater reality.
This life we live is precious and priceless…similar to the beauty of these flowers.
There is one significant mystery about Life: Our amount of “time” in the physical world varies from person to person.Time is one of our most precious and irreplaceable treasures. Not the time on clock, but the Life you Live. HOW we spend our time matters. WHO we spend our time with matters. Essentially, we are sharing our Life when we give of our time.
Today I am remembering the life of a good friend whose time on Earth was less than mine: Kenny Reeves, who passed away from leukemia on July 24, 2007. I appreciate the smiles, laughter, and laid-back fun we all had with Kenny, yet at that time, I questioned why someone who was younger than me would also leave the physical realm before I did.
Today, I am also thinking about the people and things in my life that I give time to. I have purposely strayed away from some traditional 9-5 jobs because I value my time and the way that I use it. It can be challenging to spend a lot of your time doing something when you would rather be doing something else with that time. There have been jobs that I absolutely LOVED, which I have given more than the 40 hours a week, yet it was easy to do so.
It is empowering to be consciously aware and to live in the moment. Here is an example of my experience with acting in the moment.
In one of my graduate school courses, my professor proposed a challenge to us, related to the present moment. He dared us to express whatever message we wanted to share with someone who was not in the class, as we were sitting in the middle of class. In a very matter-of-fact voice the professor said, “When you walk out this door after class, you are not guaranteed to return. Hell, you are not guaranteed to finish this class and leave out of here! You havethismoment. What would you do? What would you say to someone that you love or care about right now? I dare you to do it.”
I felt the weight of his challenge like a rock was in my stomach. I thought of several people to text or call, but I felt like I had to make a quick decision. (He was counting down). I took out my cell phone and dialed the first number that came to mind. I looked around and saw that several of my classmates were taking out their phones too. A few people got up and left out of class. The professor smiled, and he took out his phone. The room fell silent as everyone was texting or awaiting to hear from the person on the other line.
I began to think about what was happening. What really bothered me about the challenge was that a lot of what he said had validity to it. It made me think of what it must have been like for people when 9/11 happened, or school shootings, or even hostage situations. (Oddly enough, the class was a crisis intervention course.)
My thoughts were interrupted by hearing a ring and then airy silence…
My mother answered. I heard her gentle voice and immediately said to her, “Mom, I just want you to know that I love you.” My voice was shaky for some reason, but I kept talking. “I am in class, and we were told that if all we had was right now, what would we do or who would we contact. I chose to contact you. I am okay, but I just wanted you to know that I love you.” She sounded a little worried, but she graciously said, “I love you too honey.” It was comforting. After we hung up, I texted several of my friends to let them know how much they mean to me. I could hear chatter all over the classroom, and the prominent message I heard was, “I love you.”
This awakened my consciousness again.
At that time, I was so caught up in my own routine as a graduate student that I had drifted away from living mindfully. I appreciate my professor for doing this exercise because I never forgot that experience, and how I felt in that moment. I allowed myself to think about what matters to me the most and evaluated how I acknowledged those things.
I hope this makes you think about what you are doing with your time on this planet.
We need not wait until a tragedy happens in order to appreciate Life. We need not wait until a death occurs before we join together to celebrate Life.
LIFE Is Right NOW.
Who or what do you need to give time to today? Sit down, take a moment, and make time for it.
Approximately 5 days prior to my return from my journey in Ghana, many people started messaging me frequently. Most of the messages said one of two things: “When are you coming home?” or “You’ll be coming home soon!” I kept on receiving those messages almost daily. I felt conflicted when I read them. By this point, I had gotten accustomed to being away from the US, and was excitedly exploring areas of Ghana on my own.
In the beginning of the trip, I was anxiously trying to make sure that I had access to wifi. I have this app on my phone (that I will keep anonymous for now) that allows me to communicate with anyone across the globe who also has the app. The more that I let go of my fears about being overseas, the less that I looked at my phone to see if there was a wifi connection. So, by the time I had reached the closing of my trip, I really did not overwhelm myself with using the app, unless I was talking with the locals and a few friends.
Plus, part of the conflict I was experiencing was because I kept thinking and wanting to reply, “I AM home.”
I loved walking freely down the streets with the locals, smiling, wearing my summer dresses, eating fried or fire-baked plantains, slurping down the sweet chunks of local pineapple, and having heartfelt discussions with fellow young adults about ways we can unify our world.
I was definitely Home.
Yet the time came for me to leave. I was very upset, but checked in with my heart and got clear: “All is in Divine Order and there is a reason for my return at this time”.
I got on the plane heading back to the US. It was going to be at least an 11-hour flight into JFK airport, and then another 3 hours or so back to Atlanta. I wanted to stay awake for most of the trip, so I decided to watch movies while I was on the plane. There were several choices, but I was drawn to two particular films. I watched Selma and 12 Years A Slave during my flight back to the United States of America…coming from Ghana, West Africa.
Notice any irony?
Needless to say, I am not sure what drew me to those films (and I knew what they were about), but watching them during the flight had more of an impact than I had imagined. I cried, felt disgusted, and was reminded of another fact about the foundational history of the place I was heading to.
So many thoughts and emotions rolled through me. My parents, who are in their late 60’s and early 70’s now, were once forced to use public amenities that were for “Coloreds/Blacks Only”. They went to schools that were segregated. They saw the life of Martin Luther King, Jr. inreal time. My dad marched in demonstrations, and I recalled marching with him and local members of the community as a very young girl in order to commemorate Martin Luther King, Jr’s activism when he visited my home town. (Where he was arrested, by the way.)
Then I landed on US soil. I made it back into Atlanta, Georgia, and attempted to re-assimilate myself into American culture by catching up on the latest news. The first thing that I heard about was another shooting of an African American male. I turned off the news and sat in silence for a few hours. I felt numb and heavily detached, because I knew (and know) that this does not have to be.
Not long after that, the shootings in Charleston occurred. Once again, I thought about my experience in Ghana, and then recalled what I was witnessing here in America. It was challenging to go from an environment that oozes with freedom into a place that began to feel oppressive and constrictive. But I always remember that I have choice, andI can choose my own thoughts.
From our thoughts, our feelings and behaviors are affected. We can choose to interact with our environment from an intentional and positive mindset.
Yet, I still chose to reflect upon the history of America…briefly.
Many Americans know that this country was built from the desires of ego-centered men who seemed to have lacked understanding of the True Essence of humanity as a whole. Here it is, the 4th of July, where many of us Americans celebrate Independence Day. Yet, what is really being celebrated? The signing of the Declaration of Independence is not completely about freedom. (I also learned that some colonists did not sign it until an anti-slavery clause was taken out of it, but that may be for another blog post.)
Essentially, the 4th of July is celebrated because the colonies chose to declare their independence from Britain. The colonists were upset with Britain because they were being taxed, feeling stressed, and various rules were placed upon them that they did not like. But think about it…aren’t these same types of taxations and rules in existence in the country right now?
So I ask you, “What are you celebrating?”
I love this line in Bob Marley’s Redemption Song:
“Emancipate yourself from mental slavery. None but ourselves can free our mind.”
One of the reasons I named my company Metaphysical Freedom is because Freedom first begins in the mind. For example: The colonists who declared their freedom from Britain first had to THINK they could be free from British rule. The slaves who fought for freedom first had to THINK that they could be free. The activists who marched for Civil Rights first had to THINK that change was possible.
I encourage you to recognize the power of your mind and the unshakable freedom that you have from owning your own thoughts and creating your experience from your authentic mind. Not from what someone else has told you, and NOT based on history. History does NOT have to repeat itself, and would not be able to if we renewed our minds and evolved.
You and I KNOW that there is a better way for ALL of us to live on this planet, and that is in HARMONY with it and each other.
It is spring time in the United States of America. The weather is warming, plants are sprouting, and birds are singing in gratitude. Farmers change their crops, and gardeners get to witness the new blooms growing into flowers. Spring is here and announces itself boldly.
It is a beautiful time of rebirth and newness.
A lot of people are aware of this shift and use the spring time as a time for purging the old and making way for the new through “spring cleaning”.
This truly is a great season to explore what is being born in your life.
Think about who you were a year ago today. Are you exactly same? Where were you? Who was with you? How did you view the world? What changed you the most this past year/past season?
One of the best things we can do for ourselves is take the time to be with ourselves. We must nurture our minds, bodies, and spirits and take the time to cultivate our highest qualities, so that we live well-balanced and fulfilling lives.
Based on my current perspective and how I live my life now, I can see that I am dramatically different than I was a year ago. Just a short year ago, I was a little closed off to forming more meaningful, conscious/intentional connections with others. My heart wasn’t as open, and I definitely had an energetic wall up telling the majority of new people: “I like you, but I am not interested in anything more than hello and goodbye.”
At the time I didn’t know that I was so closed. It may have been burnout from another job and the loss of relationships, mixed in with starting new jobs while also trying to build my business. Whatever the case…I was not living as joyfully and freely as I do now.
What changed this?
I changed gradually. I went out to coffee shops and restaurants (usually by myself) with a goal to do some writing while enjoying live music and poetry in the background. That was it. I needed a change of scenery.
However, every time I went out, I felt a tug in my soul and a warm sensation of intense awareness. The tugging helped me to get out of my head. The warm, intense awareness was like an invisible lasso drawing people towards me. I kept meeting people, and it felt different. People were open, smiling, and genuinely curious. It was easy to talk back, smile, and develop connections. Over a short period of time, I had transformed my social life completely. It was unexpected!
The thing is…several months prior to venturing out…I had a longing to connect with more like-minded individuals. I acknowledged the desire by daily affirming, “I love everyone”while tapping into a strong, warm feeling. At some point, I stopped doing this process and released any attachment to how the people I desired were going to appear. I actually forgot about it.
I really didn’t know the depth of the seed that I was planting. When it was time for the seed to sprout, I still didn’t know that it was time. I simply followed my inner guidance to get out of the house to do my writing.
It always amuses me to see how things spring forth in our lives when we stop trying to watch them grow.
Whatever seeds we plant in our Garden of Life will bloom.
I love writing, and maybe you do as well. My most consistent writing practice began in my early childhood. I had a diary. Oh, the juicy, secretive world of diaries with their special locks and “keep out!” signs. Then I graduated to journals. I had several black and white composition books filled with some of my most intimate moments, fears, joys, and requests to God. I journaled almost everyday.
Recently, during the process of packing, I stumbled upon my journals from high school and college. I sat down for a moment and carefully read over my entries. I wrote passionately about my woes related to school issues, family, friendships, and relationships gone awry.
There was a pattern that took place in my writing: 1. I started out writing about the day (Ex: It was a rough day); 2. Then, I wrote extensively about the suffering or strife that I perceived I was experiencing (exaggerating most of it, by the way); 3. Lastly, as if in response to my discouragement, I wrote wise words of encouragement that were well beyond my years of experience and knowledge.
(Ex: I know that this is a situation where I am meant to learn about…)
I read through several of these journals, and was fascinated by something within them that I hadn’t noticed before.
You see, when I read more closely, I realized that I was also prophesying to myself in every entry.
At the time that I wrote the entries, I did not realize that they were more than words of encouragement, but actual prophecy. I didn’t know they were true until I reflected on the entries recently and recognized that most of the things had occurred!
But… Where did those prophetic words come from?
I went into meditation about this question, and here is some of what was expressed to me. Spirit reminded me that I am always taken care of and supported by unseen forces. It was brought to my attention that when I wrote my journal entries, they were a way for me to connect with My Creator and seek guidance. It was a form of prayer.
The most beautiful message I received was this reminder: “I already knew what you needed. I already saw everything you were going to request. I Am in You. Be in a place to receive those things.”
This makes me think of a biblical text that states, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you…”
Take the time to think of all the things that you have requested of Spirit. What would it mean for you to know that your requests are already known?
Better yet, what if there is already an answer?
There Is.Affirm for yourself today: Everything is already in order, and the solution is clear.
When you come into contact or cross paths with another human being that you do not know, what is the primary thing that you want to do?
Do you make eye contact, smile and nod? Do you say Hello? Or, do you work hard to avoid eye contact, keep your space, and keep moving along your way?
What thoughts/feelings contribute to the ways you interact with others?
There is an inner knowing within all of us that helps us to gauge the general vibe of others. Sometimes we can become so distracted with cell phones, music, social media, and other devices, that we don’t tap into our inner guidance system. We might miss out on an opportunity to make a new friend, save a life, or lift up our own moods.
What would happen if you went throughout your day today with the intention that“No ONE is a stranger”? I am not saying that you should run off with a stranger and jump into a dark van with shaded windows. (Please don’t.)
I am referring to the conscious effort to mindfully acknowledge the people that are with you from moment to moment throughout your day.
From a Spiritual point of view,there is no unfamiliar face in our world. We came from the Formless (Spirit/God/Energy/Universe) and were made into Form (Human Beings).
If all of us truly are made from ONE Source, then we really are not strangers to each other.
We simply need to re-introduce ourselves.
Imagine how rich your world will be once you perceive yourself with connections everywhere that you go.
Turn off the music for a moment and say hello.
Look away from your smartphone or tablet, and actually make eye contact.
Metaphysical Freedom 