Metaphysical Freedom

Metaphysical Coaching (Life and Business), Counselor Consultation and Supervision, Mindfulness-Based Energy Work


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Be Transparent.

Think about this:
What would happen if another person really knew you and was aware of all your “faults”?
Would you fear that this person would take advantage of you? Would you worry that the person may embarrass you? Would you be concerned that this person may have some type of power over you?
Due to all of these fears, would you start to lie in order to feel as if you have the “upper hand”?
Those are a lot of questions to consider.

Now, think carefully about this next question:
What would really happen if this person… wholeheartedly accepted you as you are?

As humans, we often lose transparency due to distraction from our egos. You probably have heard of the term “ego” in psychology, developmental courses, or some forms of spirituality. In metaphysics, our egos can briefly be defined as the part of our humanness that correlates with fear, survival, selfishness, judgment, comparison, competition, and separateness.
Ego is not necessarily a negative part of our human experience; however the nature of it can contribute to internal and external conflicts as a person evolves spiritually.

The further along I have traveled on my spiritual journey, the more easily I notice when my ego appears. For example, I used to be an extreme perfectionist (possibly with traces of OCD) who felt that all areas of my life had to be a certain way. Perfectionism has its place, but it is a problem when it causes high levels of distress. I used to have very high expectations of myself and others, which only led to judgment and self-criticism. At times, I even hid information about myself because I was worried that I would appear “imperfect”. After a while, hiding things while also being judgmental took up a lot of energy and mental attention. It became an act of sorts.

One day, I got into an intense argument with a long-term friend of 10 years. She told me very pertinent things about myself that were difficult for me to listen to because they were so truthful and challenged the perfect image that I had portrayed for so long.
I noticed how far removed I had become from the core of who I am. It stung really bad. Even in that moment, I went through some judgmental thoughts and feelings, but then I released them. It was humbling in the least.
I came to an understanding that I did not have to hide anymore. I did not have to pretend that everything was perfectly aligned exactly how I wanted them to be. I let it all go, and admitted that I had many flaws and was finding my way through them all.
Admitting this about myself was freeing! It changed my perspective, and gave me the opportunity to shift my focus onto things that had more depth and meaning in my life.  It truly was refreshing and life-changing.

 

The next few weeks of the holiday season can be challenging for many people as they spend time with relatives, friends, colleagues, or alone. This is the time of year where stress levels are heightened, loneliness is common, and depression and incidents of suicide increase drastically. This does not have to be. Much of the distress and negative emotions around the holidays come from a belief that things “should be” a certain away. Imagine if every person chose to be transparent, removing his or her veils and masks. So much unnecessary pressure would be lifted.
Maybe you are the person to start this transparency trend among those you encounter.

Let it all go. Kindly Be who you are.

The more open we are about who we are and how we feel assists us to create an atmosphere where we are accepted, AND where others are able to be who they are as well.

 

Glass Lotus Flower

BE transparent.

It gives us all permission to blossom, expand, and share our inner beauty.

 

 

With love,
Intuitive Dana (Dana D. Robinson)
http://www.metaphysicalfreedom.com


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Forgiving and Moving Forward

I have done a number of workshops on forgiveness. I came up with these workshop ideas because I noticed that across the board, many of my clients had underlying resentments. These issues were preventing them from receiving what they really desired. I chose to do these workshops also because I did some extensive forgiveness work with my father. I experienced some amazing and mind-blowing results. (I will share the story with you about my father in a later post.) In this post, I am addressing forgiveness because once again I was put in the place of doing so.

Many people will admit that it can be hard to forgive a former romantic partner. I definitely can.
I was in a long-term relationship with someone who, in the end, realized that he did not want the relationship, noting that he was not ready for it. I became upset with him because I felt that he should have known this before we had been together for as long as we had been. I also was upset because, based on some of his behaviors, he seemed like he already knew that he didn’t want the relationship well before he spoke up about it. When he ended the relationship, he expressed to me that we should be friends, but I was just not ready to hear those words. This was disappointing to hear because I was expecting more to develop in the relationship itself at that time.

We had a set of mutual friends who had a habit of asking me where he was whenever they saw me. I became angry, defensive, and would fight back glaring looks as I haughtily remarked, “You know we’re not together right?” They would look at me and gently say, “But you two are friends.” I thought they were insane. This type of pattern went on for several months. I grew angrier because he seemed to be nowhere around to deal with the mess he had made.

One day I decided to seek a neutral spiritualist perspective, so I spoke with a Tarot reader about the situation. She looked at the cards and said, “You’re holding a grudge against him. You two can’t be friends if you are holding a grudge.” I was a little surprised that she said that to me (being that I am a Healer and could heal myself and others), but I knew it was true. The surprise was moreso that the grudge itself was upset because it could no longer hide in the shadows of my subconscious. I reflected on her words and the nature of the grudge.
Every time that I looked at him post-breakup, I viewed him with eyes of criticism, judgment, anger, and hurt; looking for all his faults. Before the breakup, I saw him with more clarity. I saw his spirit, appreciated his compassion, his kindness, enjoyed his talents, and admired his quest to bless many by shining his own Light. That is what I loved about him. It was not his behaviors that I loved, but him as he is. It was time to let go.

Thus, I had to begin the journey of forgiveness again. I thought to myself, “If I can forgive my dad for the abuse growing up and for not being there for me the way that I needed him to be, then I can truly forgive a guy that I have only known for a few years.” Yet I struggled. I felt as if I didn’t have to forgive him because he was the one that did something wrong. In reality, we both played a part in what happened between us. (More on that later in this post.)

What does it take to forgive? One of the most important things is the willingness to do so. Before I could get to the place of saying that I forgive him for his behaviors, I had to at least say, “I am willing to forgive you for them.”
From the willingness, grew the readiness to forgive. Once I was ready to forgive, I was able to look at the entire situation from the lenses of Love. This was not human, conditional love, but unconditional Divine Love.

I sat down, took out a sheet of paper, and wrote out all of the wrongs that I felt happened in the relationship. I wrote them vigorously with serious intention to let go. I then took out another sheet of paper and wrote out all of the things that I loved about him. Holding that loving feeling in my conscious awareness, I went back to the list of wrongs. I drew a line under them, and wrote the sentence, ‘I forgive you for…’ as I went through each item. I tore that paper up, saying out loud, “I set myself free.”
I looked back at the list of things that I loved about him. When I looked at those things again, I saw that they weren’t conditional at all; they were the Essence of who He Is. I chose to appreciate his presence in my life, even though it wasn’t in the way that I desired. He played a role that sparked me to grow as a person.

Then, a deeper knowing struck me–I needed to forgive myself for allowing things to continue in a way that I did not desire or deserve. I needed to forgive myself because I love me as well. I did the same ritual that I did for him, but for myself this time. It was insightful, yet freeing. All of those things that happened between us began to seem so small. I knew that none of it really mattered. I could see that Ultimate Love remained present through it all.

This is what I hope you take away from reading this post:
Although forgiveness may be challenging at times, it is extremely powerful when done from a place of Love. Forgiveness empowers you, sets you free, and releases the old energy tied into something that really has no power in your present life. It opens up the doorway to live more beautiful and desirable lives.

Now that I have chosen to forgive, I am ecstatic to see the beauty that is allowed to grow because of the loving space that I have created. You may do the same for yourself as well.
And so it isLily Pad Pink Lotus Flower.


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How Loving Another Reflects Self-Love

Relationships are very dynamic experiences that, by far, are one of the most important aspects of Life. We are always in relationship with someone or something at all times; including our Self. Some of the most profound interpersonal relationships that we experience are related to those who parent us (grandparents, biological parents, step parents, adopted, guardians, etc.), those whom we call family, those whom we have romantic interests, and those whom we view as allies.

When I was 15 years old, I read the Bible verses on the nature of love (1 Corinthians 13:4-8 for those of you who are curious). In summary, it says that love is patient, kind, forgiving, selfless, always victorious, and is Eternal. For some reason, I felt a strong conviction in my heart and made a vow to myself that I would learn to love others just like it is written in those verses. I had already believed that love was a powerful force, and I was becoming more aware of the misuse of the word in every day society and media.

Little did I know, this vow seemed to be the precipice for increased difficulties in all of my relationships over many years. I had problems with my family, was isolated from my friends, changed jobs often, and faced painful romantic failures too.
From my point of view, I loved others unconditionally, but was only being let down in return. I wanted to blame everyone else, but I couldn’t. I forgave easily. I didn’t hold grudges. I let people walk in and out of my life as they pleased. I had the misconception that this is how I could show others love. While everyone else received such forgiveness, I secretly got angry with myself for being such a pushover.

It didn’t dawn on me that I was missing Self-Love until I went through a period of time where I was forced to live alone, with no television. I had a spacious home, but no furniture, and no bed. I was single and dateless. I ate my meals cross-legged on the floor, and I slept on an air mattress during the night. I spent most of my time reading religious books and spiritual texts, doing energy healings, and meditating. Life was very simple, but fulfilling.

During this time, I reflected on my understanding of love and relationships. I realized that I had fallen prey to associating love with pain and drama. All of my challenging relationships essentially showed me how much I needed to look within. I was only experiencing what I subconsciously believed. I discovered how important it was to know myself, express what I need, and to let go of relationships that were not healthy for me. I learned what it meant to take care of myself and love who I Am. I finally understood that it was okay to say no and to set limits with others. With this new knowledge, my desire to embody unconditional love did not change; however my understanding of what it looks like did.

These are my valuable lessons on love:
Loving someone means allowing the person to be exactly who he or she is, even if that person is not what you desire. It does not necessarily mean putting that person’s needs over yours, but respecting yourself, your needs, and compromising in a reasonable way. Loving someone is appreciating the experience that you share, while also letting go of expectations.

Loving someone stems from first knowing yourself, loving who you are, and allowing Life to flow as it may.

What lessons have you learned?