Metaphysical Freedom

Psychotherapy, Spirituality, Mindfulness, Intuition, Wellbeing


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Dealing with the Loss of a Parent (and you’re under 35)

Grief and loss are challenging things to face, and they affect everyone. The impact of loss varies based on someone’s perception and experience. Grief can be felt from losing a valued item, going through a breakup, or facing the transition (death) of a loved one. Grief, simply defined, is a feeling of deep sorrow.

Five and a half years ago, I had a vision of my dad dying. I couldn’t fight the choking feeling in my throat, the sadness, and the fear. I called him sobbing and told him about my vision. My dad knew that I was very intuitive, so he was not surprised at all about my vision, nor was he surprised to hear me being so upset.

Calling him opened up a dialogue that I believe every parent and child would like to have before one transitions. My dad spoke very calmly and said, “You’re picking up on a lot of death around me. A lot of people I know have died. I’ve been feeling sad about it, so you feel that too. If I were to die today, I would be content. I’m very happy with my life. I have wonderful grandchildren. I’m proud of my children. I’m proud of you. All of my daughters have degrees! If I died today, I’ve lived a good life.”

Of course, this was comforting, but at that time, it was upsetting too. Hearing my dad say those words let me know that he was ready to transition whenever it was time. He was in his late 60’s, which is still young to me, but I knew deep down that I had to find peace with his perspective. He lived through many historic and painful events and was able to see the positives despite them.

Secretly, I think my dad knew I was concerned about our time together. I was working towards an independent counselor license and working two part-time jobs, so my trips back to my hometown were limited. My dad began calling me every morning around 7:00am and we talked during my 45-minute commute to work. The conversations were priceless. At the end of every call, he wished me a blessed day and told me he loved me. This went on for quite some time.

Two years later, I went to Ghana, West Africa for a month and returned home, ready to share about my experiences. During summertime, I went back to my hometown and spent time with family. I shared with my dad about my trip. He told me he was proud of me and glad that I went to Ghana. By that time, our calls were not as frequent, but they were still quite rich. During my visit, my dad also shared with me that he liked what I was doing with my Metaphysical work, and he showed me some metaphysical and spiritual books he was reading.

Months later, things changed.

Everywhere I went, I kept seeing butterflies. I LOVE butterflies and usually feel excited when I see them, but during that time, I had an eerie feeling. The butterflies were giving me a message that I wasn’t ready to receive.

The more I tried to ignore them, the more they got my attention. I’ll never forget three distinct times I saw them.

  1. I remember going to a coffee shop and facing the window while I worked. I looked up and saw about 30 butterflies flying by like a flock of birds. It gave me chills, but I shook it off.
  2. I was driving on the highway and looked at my side view mirror. There was a butterfly flying in sync and very close to the mirror. The butterfly did not fly away when I stopped at my destination, but it lingered by the window. I shook the weirdness off again.
  3. I was walking to a parade with a friend. It was crowded, so I had to walk behind her since she knew the way. In the midst of all the people and flowers, a butterfly flew down and landed on her back (which was right in front of me). In that moment, I had a strong, eerie feeling.

The day before that parade was September 11th, my dad’s birthday. I called him to let him know I would come see him and celebrate his birthday the weekend after because of training and a dance performance during his birthday weekend. I didn’t get an answer, so I left a message for him.

Well, that night of the parade, I got the call. My dad had transitioned.

Looking back, I can equate my response that night as being in shock. I didn’t cry or rush home. I stayed calm and tried to be supportive to my family members. The next day, I cried some, but I still did the dance performance because my dad loved to dance. I only told two people about his death, and I went to my hometown afterwards.

Planning a funeral took “adulting” to the next level. There I was, under 35, with my mother and siblings discussing caskets, headstones, obituaries, funeral service times, and the burial site. My mind kept flipping between thoughts that the next ceremony we planned should have been a wedding or a bridal shower at least, not a funeral.

The first few years after his death, I worked like there was no tomorrow. I had a full-time job, did public speaking engagements, and was on different committees and organizations within my spiritual community. The experiences were amazing, but emotionally I was distracting myself.

Finally, two years after his death, I gave myself full permission to let go and grieve.

I recognized my disappointment that my dad would not be physically present to see me get married. I was not happy with not being able to talk to him on the phone anymore. I was haunted when I went home and drove by the house we grew up in, knowing he wasn’t in there. I was angry that he didn’t live at least until I was 40 or older. Realistically, all of these feelings are normal.

Grief is not a linear process. I tell this to my clients and I know it to be true. Elisabeth Kubler Ross was a psychiatrist who came up with the Five Stages of Grief. They are Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Although these stages were initially identified to address the process that someone goes through when facing death, it also applies to the surviving loved ones as well.

As a “Millennial” who is already dealing with many normal life challenges, I was not expecting to deal with my father’s death so soon. As a therapist, I know that the reason many people feel sadness when someone dies (or goes away) is because the person’s physical presence is absent. We no longer see the person, hear the person’s voice (in real time), experience the person’s touch, etc. As a Metaphysician, I have learned to transmute this experience into an empowering one. I know that energy is never lost; it only changes form. I know I can access the energy of my dad through the metaphysical skills I have learned over the years, and it is comforting to me.

If you are dealing with the loss of a parent, allow yourself to go through the process and know that some days are easier than others. Don’t be afraid to seek support when needed.

When you think of the transitioned parent, consider these three things:

  1. What positive messages did you get from your parent?

For example, my dad told me he was proud of me, proud of the work that I do, and he likes my Metaphysical work. He also shared that he felt like I understood him.

  1. What characteristics or positive traits did you inherit or learn from your parent?

My experience with my dad helped me to see that it is okay to be quirky and free-spirited. My dad traveled when he felt like it, danced up into his 70’s, and he was artistic (drawing, photography, played guitar). I’m not afraid to ask questions. I dance, enjoy being creative, and follow my flow.

  1. Remember, your parent is always with you.

You are a living, breathing expression of your parents. Their presence is in your DNA. Even if it is a step-parent or if you are adopted, their energy is still with you because it has shaped or influenced you.

Energy is never lost; therefore, you are never alone.

 

With love and light,

Dana (Intuitive Dana)

http://www.MetaphysicalFreedom.com


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Who Do You Trust?

“I trust you”

I believe that these three words can have more weight than “I love you”. For instance, I love people in general and I love my cat. Based on a previous definition I gave of love (Love…Anyone?), it is impersonal but also delightful.

Trust, on the other hand, is very personal. Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary defines trust as “assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.” Sounds quite personal to me. Trust can be developed, or it can already be established, depending on the situation.

Either way, it can be lost.

Someone can love another person but feel he or she cannot trust that person. Trust is a delicate gift that requires vulnerability.

In my profession of healing and transformation, the people I serve must trust me. They trust me to keep their best interests in mind. They trust me to be knowledgeable and experienced in the services I provide. They trust me to honor their sacredness and respect their privacy. Most of my clients do not say the three words out loud, but their actions and willingness in the sessions speak to this truth.

Ultimately, when you trust someone, you are allowing yourself to be in the vulnerable space of innocence and complete surrender. One of the most detrimental things that can happen in this line of work is for the healer to violate or break the trust of their client.

I could go further into this issue, but I will focus more on things you can do (as a client) to see if someone is trustworthy. These suggestions are geared towards the healing profession; however they can also be applied to personal interactions as well:

  1. Do your research (Is the person qualified? What do others say about their experiences with the person? What skills/characteristics are you looking for?)
  2. Listen to your gut (Intuition supersedes intellect; Do you feel safe? Do you feel heard? Do you feel respected?)
  3. Ask questions (Get clarification on whatever you need to.)
  4. Express yourself (Make your requests and needs known. Then refer back to number 2.)

In a society that promotes selfishness and self-centered gains, it is important for those of us in the healing profession to be selfless and genuine about providing the service the client needs.

The MOST VITAL part of any healing relationship is TRUST.

 

Be trustworthy.

Dana (Intuitive Dana)

www.MetaphysicalFreedom.com


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Who (or what) Do You Answer To?

Working as a Metaphysical Coach, I ask my clients this simple question: What motivates you?

Often, the first response given is, “Money! No doubt!”  Would you respond the same way?

Don’t get me wrong, this response is not completely negative. What it IS, is a reflection of what the person values.

When someone says his or her only motivation is money, this person is also saying that money is the boss and has power over him or her.

I promise I’m not trying to be extreme.

During the weekdays, in most metropolitan cities in the United States, people spend a great amount of time commuting to and from work. When I used to participate in the busyness of the daily commute, I often wondered what was going on in the minds of the other commuters around me.  I took a step back and looked at the ENERGY of the situation, and it was disturbing because people basically became drones. If they were the drones, who was the Queen Bee? Many people would say, “Money.”

Money itself it not bad, but it is the consciousness we have around it that can create undesirable results.

I encourage you to rethink what money is to you. Money is energy that is manifested in our lives through an exchange of energy.

Remember this: Energy is never lost.

Speaking of consciousness, there is another layer to my question above (Of course there is! I like Metaphysics…lol):

In Behavioral Psychology, there is something called Operant Conditioning. I won’t bore you with a drawn out definition or psychobabble, but I will tell you the basics. Operant conditioning is the process of learning behavior through reward and punishment. When someone is rewarded for a behavior, it is done more often. When someone is punished for a behavior, it is decreased or stopped.

We ALL are affected by this.

I am not bashing them, but I must say that Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and Twitter have maximized on this tremendously. In fact, our cell phones and other electronic devices apply this concept in some ways, too.

Don’t believe me?

Think about it. When you log into your social media accounts, you are bombarded with information. However, the one thing that stands out ON PURPOSE on all these platforms is your NOTIFICATIONS. The way they are set up feeds the reward system in the brain. These things become addictive because they activate pleasure centers in the brain, similar to what a drug would do.

While researching, I read somewhere (sorry, no citation) that people on average spend 20 minutes or more on social media sites even when they intend to spend a few minutes.  

Pay attention. When the mind is in that state, it is similar to a trance, and the mind can be more open to suggestion. A person can get so caught up in this reward system that the person does not realize he or she is under the control of the next like, swipe, scroll, or newest filter.

So, who or what do you give your power to? It is whatever you give these things to: your time, energy, and ultimately your mind.

 

Obviously, I am not writing this post to degrade social media. There are positives to it too. More than likely you found this post through a social media site!

The purpose of this post is to get you to THINK, BE CONSCIOUS, and SHIFT your mindset.

Be conscious of why you access particular accounts, or do certain behaviors. It has been said over and over that we do many things subconsciously.

Be mindful of how you feel when you see notifications or prompts to keep clicking your time away. When something feels good, we are more likely to repeat it.

And finally, Shift your mindset, and know when you need to turn these distractions off.

Encouraging you to be the power center in your life,

Dana (Intuitive Dana)

http://www.MetaphysicalFreedom.com

 

 


This is our world.

5F710C32-79C4-4BE3-8875-10287E092369.jpegThis quote speaks volumes.

“This is your world. Shape it or someone else will.” -Gary Lew

This is one of the reasons why I do what I do.

We live in a world where there are several, easily accessible distractions from Self and the transformative power within.

I took a hiatus from blogging and public speaking to detach and recharge from all the energetic “stuff” that has been happening, to re-mind myself of what is true for me, and to stay grounded in this knowledge by seeing through the distractions.

We can become so accustomed to looking at social media, websites, and the news that these things easily become subconscious influencers.

The next time you scroll or flip the channel, think about what you really believe, what you really desire for yourself (and the world), and if the things you are entertaining and doing match those desires. If not, put down the phone (tablet, remote, etc.), wake up from the distractions, and do something different.

Encouraging you to Wake up.

With love,

IntuitiveDana

http://www.MetaphysicalFreedom.com


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See Love and Be Love


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President Trump is Not the Enemy.

T Is a Catalyst

Spring 2017 is in the air, and here we are, the United States of America, with our new 45th President, Donald Trump. In these first few months of his presidency, President Trump has equally inspired and enraged many American Citizens and people across the globe with his actions.

Many people continue to express extreme fear and worry about the future of the United States of America, due to the current political climate.  Several people have been reactive, uproars of events have taken place, protests were organized, and even rioting occurred. America appears to be dividing further into opposite ends of the poles. Xenophobia appears to be on the rise, and equally so, more diverse groups of people have shown solidarity. I watched in sheer curiosity as people divided themselves through bigotry, racism, religion, political beliefs, etc.

When a person allows a concept to become more powerful than his or her sense of Self, then there is a problem. I am not only referring to politics, but also to labels that people give themselves, which then have become some of the same labels that people have allowed to disempower themselves.

I have spent many months away from blogging to really go within and to stay clear and aligned with what I am here to do. Hear me clearly though; I am aware of the things that are going on with this nation, but I have not lost sight of the Truth.

I am at the space in the middle of what appears to be a divide.

Several months ago, I knew that Trump would be elected for president AND win. When it happened, I wasn’t startled or upset, or even moved by it at all. This is the beauty of seeing the Spirit of things. I have no investment for or against him or any other person who has been our President. My investment is in elevating our consciousness as human beings and laying the foundation for a harmonious world.

“In all chaos, there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order.” -Carl Jung, Swiss Psychiatrist.

So, just for a moment, take a step back from any biased viewpoint you may have and open your mind to this information. Let’s be objective and see things as they are…Metaphysically.

On the larger scale, President Donald Trump is doing exactly what he is meant to do in the exact way he is supposed to. Trump carries strong trailblazing energy and is the perfect vessel to push against the grain, causing many people to pay attention (whether they are for, opposed, or even indifferent). He is a catalyst. If we get honest with ourselves, we can see that ALL our other presidents were catalysts as well.

Dig deeper.

The people who we collectively put in leadership (consciously or subconsciously) are reflections of where we are and what we are transforming about our nation.

What we are experiencing is the next step in our human evolution and our spiritual awakening.

In Common Sense in 1776 Thomas Paine said, “We have it in our power to begin the world over again.” We do.

A farmer must till the soil before planting the seed. The very much alive seed remains in darkness until the right conditions are present for it to break through the soil. This situation is no different.

If you find yourself becoming upset or reactive to things happening with our political system, look within first. Something in you is getting your attention, inviting you to own the deeper power within.

Let’s get even more real…

Last time I checked, no one has any power over us but ourselves. Everything we have engaged in is because we have chosen to do so. It’s not a bad thing. Laws, rules, and regulations are in place because they have been helpful over the years. We, as humans, have agreed to these imaginary rules and what their consequences are. We, as humans, can change them…starting with our consciousness about them.

It is a beautiful thing when people join together to connect at the heart level and express themselves from this space. When people are at this level, no external example has to be constructed or forced. It is an organic process. (Just like that “something” in you that led you to keep reading this.)

Please understand: I am not against marches, protests, or demonstrations, etc. I am for unity through empowerment of each other and ourselves. Empowerment, for some, includes physical demonstration made public. For others, it is a very private, daily practice. For all, it requires the constant cycle of awareness, intention, and conscious action.

There must be a point where we begin to face the facts:

  1. We all share this planet whether we like each other 100% or not.
  2. Killing one group of people only leads to more killing.
  3. Divide and conquer leads to war, classism, racism, oppression, and eventually a revolution. (By the way, “revolution” means to go in circles…again and again.)
  4. The people who continue to be referred to as “minorities” in America are becoming “majorities”. (“Racial” lines are more blurred than we realize.)
  5. Many religions and moral philosophies have similar core tenets, that if we followed them on a personal/introspective level (without forcing others), then we could live in harmony.

(Refer back to Fact Number 1).

I wrote this to encourage you not to get swept away in the sensationalism that gets blasted in the media frequently. Sensationalism breeds cloudy thinking and impulsive reactions. Whether you are Muslim, Christian, Buddhist, Jew, New Thought, Native, Black, White, Brown, Transgender, immigrant, refugee, Conservative, Liberal, or whatever else you identify with…

No matter where you are or what country you are in, we all live on one big mass that we call Earth, located in this expansiveness we call space. We need each other. That’s it.

Remember:

Chaos and Cosmos-CJung

“In all chaos, there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order.”

-Carl Jung, Swiss Psychiatrist.

A cosmos is a harmonious and orderly system, and it is up to us to create it.

 

 With compassion,

Dana D. Robinson (@IntuitiveDana)

http://www.MetaphysicalFreedom.com

 


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Be Transparent.

Think about this:
What would happen if another person really knew you and was aware of all your “faults”?
Would you fear that this person would take advantage of you? Would you worry that the person may embarrass you? Would you be concerned that this person may have some type of power over you?
Due to all of these fears, would you start to lie in order to feel as if you have the “upper hand”?
Those are a lot of questions to consider.

Now, think carefully about this next question:
What would really happen if this person… wholeheartedly accepted you as you are?

As humans, we often lose transparency due to distraction from our egos. You probably have heard of the term “ego” in psychology, developmental courses, or some forms of spirituality. In metaphysics, our egos can briefly be defined as the part of our humanness that correlates with fear, survival, selfishness, judgment, comparison, competition, and separateness.
Ego is not necessarily a negative part of our human experience; however the nature of it can contribute to internal and external conflicts as a person evolves spiritually.

The further along I have traveled on my spiritual journey, the more easily I notice when my ego appears. For example, I used to be an extreme perfectionist (possibly with traces of OCD) who felt that all areas of my life had to be a certain way. Perfectionism has its place, but it is a problem when it causes high levels of distress. I used to have very high expectations of myself and others, which only led to judgment and self-criticism. At times, I even hid information about myself because I was worried that I would appear “imperfect”. After a while, hiding things while also being judgmental took up a lot of energy and mental attention. It became an act of sorts.

One day, I got into an intense argument with a long-term friend of 10 years. She told me very pertinent things about myself that were difficult for me to listen to because they were so truthful and challenged the perfect image that I had portrayed for so long.
I noticed how far removed I had become from the core of who I am. It stung really bad. Even in that moment, I went through some judgmental thoughts and feelings, but then I released them. It was humbling in the least.
I came to an understanding that I did not have to hide anymore. I did not have to pretend that everything was perfectly aligned exactly how I wanted them to be. I let it all go, and admitted that I had many flaws and was finding my way through them all.
Admitting this about myself was freeing! It changed my perspective, and gave me the opportunity to shift my focus onto things that had more depth and meaning in my life.  It truly was refreshing and life-changing.

 

The next few weeks of the holiday season can be challenging for many people as they spend time with relatives, friends, colleagues, or alone. This is the time of year where stress levels are heightened, loneliness is common, and depression and incidents of suicide increase drastically. This does not have to be. Much of the distress and negative emotions around the holidays come from a belief that things “should be” a certain away. Imagine if every person chose to be transparent, removing his or her veils and masks. So much unnecessary pressure would be lifted.
Maybe you are the person to start this transparency trend among those you encounter.

Let it all go. Kindly Be who you are.

The more open we are about who we are and how we feel assists us to create an atmosphere where we are accepted, AND where others are able to be who they are as well.

 

Glass Lotus Flower

BE transparent.

It gives us all permission to blossom, expand, and share our inner beauty.

 

 

With love,
Intuitive Dana (Dana D. Robinson)
http://www.metaphysicalfreedom.com