I believe that these three words can have more weight than “I love you”. For instance, I love people in general and I love my cat. Based on a previous definition I gave of love (Love…Anyone?), it is impersonal but also delightful.
Trust, on the other hand, is very personal. Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary defines trust as “assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something.” Sounds quite personal to me. Trust can be developed, or it can already be established, depending on the situation.
Either way, it can be lost.
Someone can love another person but feel he or she cannot trust that person. Trust is a delicate gift that requires vulnerability.
In my profession of healing and transformation, the people I serve must trust me. They trust me to keep their best interests in mind. They trust me to be knowledgeable and experienced in the services I provide. They trust me to honor their sacredness and respect their privacy. Most of my clients do not say the three words out loud, but their actions and willingness in the sessions speak to this truth.
Ultimately, when you trust someone, you are allowing yourself to be in the vulnerable space of innocence and complete surrender. One of the most detrimental things that can happen in this line of work is for the healer to violate or break the trust of their client.
I could go further into this issue, but I will focus more on things you can do (as a client) to see if someone is trustworthy. These suggestions are geared towards the healing profession; however they can also be applied to personal interactions as well:
Do your research (Is the person qualified? What do others say about their experiences with the person? What skills/characteristics are you looking for?)
Listen to your gut (Intuition supersedes intellect; Do you feel safe? Do you feel heard? Do you feel respected?)
Ask questions (Get clarification on whatever you need to.)
Express yourself (Make your requests and needs known. Then refer back to number 2.)
In a society that promotes selfishness and self-centered gains, it is important for those of us in the healing profession to be selfless and genuine about providing the service the client needs.
The MOST VITAL part of any healing relationship is TRUST.
My passion is being of service, touching hearts, enlightening minds, guiding, and aiding in the realization of healing and wholeness. There have been several times when I have “missed the mark.” I thought that I was in the flow, being mindful, and in tune with the people that I love as well as the people that I serve.
Thinking this way, I continued in this blissful flow, forgetting an important piece of the puzzle: We all perceive things differently. While I thought I was showing love and being of the utmost service, sometimes the receivers of my actions did not feel the same way. The most sobering experience for me is to find out that I missed an opportunity to be of service because my own point of view misled the way.
Perception is powerful.
One of my favorite quotes says something like this,
“We are the Universe looking at itself from many perspectives.”
Of course! We are individualized expressions of the ONE.
For those of us who desire to serve others, we must first clear ourselves of our preconceived ideas about serving. We have to know what it is that the receiver truly needs.This may seem so simple, but sometimes it is forgotten. Our perception of another’s needs may be different than what they actually desire. We must meet them where they are, and work with them from there.
Emptying ourselves allows others’ Lights to guide us.Remember: The Essence of Life within each of us is from the same Source, and healing takes place in many forms.
To be of service, we must first see where we are being led to serve. This way, we are making the most effective impact in the lives of those whom we are meant to bless.
One of the many reasons that I traveled to Ghana and spent a month there is because I wanted to learn more about my African roots. One of my siblings did the DNA genealogy test to help us to determine what regions/countries that our ancestors came from. To me, the test results were…well…they weren’t very conclusive. They read something like: Overall 85% from Africa (of course), then it was broken down into countries- Cameroon/Congo 31%, Ivory Coast/Ghana 26%, Nigeria 10%, and traces of Senegal 7%, Mali 4%, Togo/Benin 4%, and the South-Eastern Bantu region 2%. The other percentages were roughly 13% European and 2% Central Asian. When I first heard the results, I asked, “What does that really mean?” I don’t believe that the same borders or boundaries existed when my early ancestors were living freely on the land hundreds of years ago, so I figured that Ghana would be a good place in West Africa to learn at least something about the people I come from.
I grew up in South Georgia with small beginnings on family farmland in the countryside. The farms were former plantations. I remember having family get-togethers outside where we fried fish in a large pot of oil over an open flame. We had live animals running around…horses, pigs, chickens, and the family dogs. My uncles loved cooking Brunswick stew, or bringing back fresh fish from the local river. My dad would cut sugar cane, and we all enjoyed chewing it to get the sweet “juice”. I remember when I was very young, I used to sit on my great grandmother’s porch overlooking the farmland and help her to “shuck” corn.
Some of the houses were more like shacks because they were built by family members and had tin roofs. We called some of them “shotgun” houses because you could walk into the front door and see straight through the house all the way to the back door.
Even when we moved to the city, we continued some of our lifestyle. We grew plums, pecans, figs, blackberries, and peppers in our own yard.
Life was simple and rich.
Sogakope, Ghana in the Volta Region felt the most like my hometown to me. There were mostly dirt roads, several handmade houses, and the people were laid-back.
A few homes in Sogakope
Mango tree in the yard
Food stand: Pineapple, yam, plantain, palm nuts, and chopped sugar cane (at the bottom)
Laid-back moto riders relaxing by a “shack”
Something else that was interesting to me was related to funerals.My family usually wears black to funerals. However, if it is a grandparent that dies, we (as grandchildren) wear white instead. I don’t remember questioning why we had this tradition.
During my time in Ghana, I learned that red, black, and white are the funeral colors for Ghanaians. The people wear red if it is a young person who has passed away. They wear black if it is an adult/middle-aged person. They wear white if it is an elderly person. I felt a sense of satisfaction with this information and pondered if our family tradition was a watered-down version of an ancestral practice.
One final thing that caught my attention and felt comforting was the clothes-washing. Almost everyone hand-washes their clothing and hangs them out on a line to dry. My parents grew up doing the same thing, and they did the same for us. At some point, we had a washing machine, but we NEVER had a dryer, so we used a clothesline. As a teen, I used to be ashamed of it, but now I smile joyfully about it. (Plus, it is very environmentally friendly.)
Clothes hanging on the clothesline at a university guest house.
These small similarities made me feel more at ease in the “foreign” country. I started to pay more conscious attention to the people, and began to see familiarity in all of them.
It is such a pleasure to notice the small things that connect us all as a people.
I love writing, and maybe you do as well. My most consistent writing practice began in my early childhood. I had a diary. Oh, the juicy, secretive world of diaries with their special locks and “keep out!” signs. Then I graduated to journals. I had several black and white composition books filled with some of my most intimate moments, fears, joys, and requests to God. I journaled almost everyday.
Recently, during the process of packing, I stumbled upon my journals from high school and college. I sat down for a moment and carefully read over my entries. I wrote passionately about my woes related to school issues, family, friendships, and relationships gone awry.
There was a pattern that took place in my writing: 1. I started out writing about the day (Ex: It was a rough day); 2. Then, I wrote extensively about the suffering or strife that I perceived I was experiencing (exaggerating most of it, by the way); 3. Lastly, as if in response to my discouragement, I wrote wise words of encouragement that were well beyond my years of experience and knowledge.
(Ex: I know that this is a situation where I am meant to learn about…)
I read through several of these journals, and was fascinated by something within them that I hadn’t noticed before.
You see, when I read more closely, I realized that I was also prophesying to myself in every entry.
At the time that I wrote the entries, I did not realize that they were more than words of encouragement, but actual prophecy. I didn’t know they were true until I reflected on the entries recently and recognized that most of the things had occurred!
But… Where did those prophetic words come from?
I went into meditation about this question, and here is some of what was expressed to me. Spirit reminded me that I am always taken care of and supported by unseen forces. It was brought to my attention that when I wrote my journal entries, they were a way for me to connect with My Creator and seek guidance. It was a form of prayer.
The most beautiful message I received was this reminder: “I already knew what you needed. I already saw everything you were going to request. I Am in You. Be in a place to receive those things.”
This makes me think of a biblical text that states, “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you…”
Take the time to think of all the things that you have requested of Spirit. What would it mean for you to know that your requests are already known?
Better yet, what if there is already an answer?
There Is.Affirm for yourself today: Everything is already in order, and the solution is clear.
When you come into contact or cross paths with another human being that you do not know, what is the primary thing that you want to do?
Do you make eye contact, smile and nod? Do you say Hello? Or, do you work hard to avoid eye contact, keep your space, and keep moving along your way?
What thoughts/feelings contribute to the ways you interact with others?
There is an inner knowing within all of us that helps us to gauge the general vibe of others. Sometimes we can become so distracted with cell phones, music, social media, and other devices, that we don’t tap into our inner guidance system. We might miss out on an opportunity to make a new friend, save a life, or lift up our own moods.
What would happen if you went throughout your day today with the intention that“No ONE is a stranger”? I am not saying that you should run off with a stranger and jump into a dark van with shaded windows. (Please don’t.)
I am referring to the conscious effort to mindfully acknowledge the people that are with you from moment to moment throughout your day.
From a Spiritual point of view,there is no unfamiliar face in our world. We came from the Formless (Spirit/God/Energy/Universe) and were made into Form (Human Beings).
If all of us truly are made from ONE Source, then we really are not strangers to each other.
We simply need to re-introduce ourselves.
Imagine how rich your world will be once you perceive yourself with connections everywhere that you go.
Turn off the music for a moment and say hello.
Look away from your smartphone or tablet, and actually make eye contact.
Love is more than just a feeling. Love Is a way of Living.
Modern culture frequently displays love as a sense of feel-good, fantasy, and endless romantic awe. Yet, these types of examples are temporary expressions of a bigger, more infinite concept. Think about this:When did you first learn about love? Who told you what it means? What thoughts, feelings, and experiences do you associate with love?
Many years ago, I had the misconception that love = suffering. I thought that loving someone always meant to sacrifice, to put the other first, and to stretch myself in order to make the other person happy. I did this not only in romantic relationships, but also in relationships that I considered to be very important to me.
However, one common and major thing kept happening…I was left feeling betrayed, used, and alone.
This sent me on a journey to re-evaluate my understanding of love. I reflected upon my experiences, looked at the spiritual aspect, read books, and then went out and asked questions from my elders.
One of my favorite graduate professors was in his late 80s. He shared this definition of love: “To take delight in the spiritual development of another”. When I first heard it, I felt a squiggly warmth and childlike curiosity. The definition seemed so plain, but when you look at it more closely, it actually involves several layers.
To take delight in another person’s spiritual development also includes the ability to let go of expectation, to eliminate judgment, and to release the need to be right. This way of loving causes you to accept a person as he or she is, because you are aware that spiritual growth is always taking place. To love in this way is to understand that the person is doing the best that he or she can, based upon his or her own circumstances (thoughts, beliefs, actions, feelings)…even if you don’t like it.
Don’t get me wrong. If someone is treating you in a way that is condescending, harmful, or life-threatening, and using “love” as the reason, I am not referring to this situation. This is not love. This is manipulation and abuse.
The love that I am referring to is made up of thoughtfulness, positive regard, and a healthy detachment. Yes, detachment. I’m sure you’ve heard someone say, “If you love someone, you will let ‘em go.”
Loving someone on the spirit level creates a greater sense of freedom for you and that person.
In various Biblical and spiritual texts, it is expressed that “God is Love” (Feel free to put The Universe, Creator, Allah, etc)…and “This Love is unconditional.”
Other texts also express that “Love casts out all fear.” Most of us have attached ourselves to others in unhealthy ways, saying it is love, when it is actually fear. Let go of the fear.
Look and see that the person is on his or her spiritual journey, and smile. Your supportive presence (even if at a distance) is more valuable than hovering around negatively out of your own worry.
Most importantly, see yourself this way. Be there for yourself as you go through your spiritual development. Remember, Real Love is unconditional anyway.
Take delight in your own journey as you Evolve in Love.
“Nobody with innocence loves to go to jail. But if he puts you in jail, you go in that jail and transform it from a dungeon of shame to a haven of freedom and human dignity. Even if he tries to kill you, you develop the inner conviction that there are some things so dear, some things so precious, some things so eternally true that they are worth dying for…” –Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
If there is one thing that I would change about the quote above, it is this: “What are you willing to LIVE for? What do you desire to see changed in the world we live in right now?”
February is celebrated as Black History month in the United States of America. It is also the month where they celebrate Love, Romance, and relationships in honor of St. Valentine.
When I pondered upon what this month means for me, I thought about the fact that there really is not a specific month to represent the history of all beings. My history is your history because we are all connected, and inevitably we all impact each other worldwide.
I also began thinking about the state of the social structure in this nation. There is unrest among many groups of people who are called the “minority” in the United States of America. The nature of this unrest is a recurrence of similar themes that have spanned over several generations. There are rallies against injustice, war, and inequality for all humans. This history seems to repeat itself, while the people headlining the movements are the only difference.
Why is this the case? What is missing?
Soldiers are deployed and encouraged to fight for their country and the freedom of their people. Yet, right here in our own land, many are not Free.
Freedom first begins in the mind.
If a group of people have been taught to believe and perceive their world from an inferior perspective, then their lives will continue to reflect this status, even if they do rally against their status. This is because they are creating what they focus upon. Do not get me wrong, there currently exists a covert and overt hierarchy in American society which affects various groups of people in different, yet painful ways. This hierarchy exists because the nation was created by a group of people who believed that to divide, conquer, and monopolize power was the way to live.
But it is not.
Violence, separation, and destruction only breed injustice, greed, and death.
It takes a conscious movement of everyone in solidarity in order for this ancient, ineffective system to be eradicated. I have read that the largest population in the United States right now is the generation born between the early 1980’s and early 2000’s, also known as Generation Y or the Millennials.
Why does this matter? The largest population in any place can have a huge impact on society. It begins with a shift in conscious awareness, collectively joining together, and is followed by mindful action.
Think about what your ideal world looks like. Is there a major disparity among groups of people based on the color of their skin or partner preference? Of course not.
What can you do to shift things in the direction that makes this ideal world more tangible?
If you are passionate about it, then you have the first ingredient that is needed to take action. Every piece of this Peace puzzle has a major part. First, begin to connect with others who believe in your cause. Second, discuss solutions from a collective and conscious point of view. Third, mindfully put things in motion from a solution-focused perspective. You will see just how much the world you desire begins to unfold.
You and I are the game-changers. We are the ones to lead a conscious movement, not by repeating old patterns of our predecessors, but by acting from a higher state of awareness and connectedness that focuses on the solution to the problems we face now. We need each other, and we are the answer.
We must create and influence the world that we desire to live in.
There is a burning inside of me. I cannot ignore it. There is a purpose that calls from far away. I have to answer. There is a Vision that shows up in my dreams, and it is pouring into my waking life. It Must be My Reality.
What shall I do?
Today, I have chosen to outgrow fear of the unknown. What is the worst that could happen? I could have never tried to live out my dream. That is the worst that could have happened.
–Dana D. Robinson
Miracles are but Divine Orchestration at its finest! Here is a personal story about my experience with saying YES to my Spirit and a greater calling:
Fall 2014: My heart was set on going to Cambodia in January 2015 for an outreach project through my spiritual center, but the Universe told me something different.
Let me rewind. It started with a Joel Fotinos talk and workshop on “living my purpose”. At the workshop, I felt so convicted to focus on my job at the time, build a large savings, and “tough it out” a little longer before I stepped out on my own as a fully self-employed entrepreneur. That Sunday, I had also made up my mind that I was going to take some vacation time off work and go to Cambodia with the group.
The next morning, I did an extended meditation on my decision to leave and asked for guidance regarding my next steps. I was told very clearly to go to Africa instead. I wanted to go to Africa for years, but it never seemed like the right time. During that meditation, I asked which country I should go to. I was clearly told to go to Ghana. I simply said, “Yes, okay” and let go of any other attachment to it.
That following Sunday, I went to the spiritual center and the senior minister did a talk on Beauty for Ashes. It really struck me so hard that I was tearful and attended both services. I realized that I was holding on to fear, and was not happy with the situation I was in.
That afternoon (Sunday) I felt led to go to a local organic food store to get dinner and relax. I randomly met an interesting guy there in the store café, who happened to be a Financial Adviser. I did not feel afraid, so shared with him that I felt the pull to go to Ghana. He was receptive, and kindly shared some financial planning and abundance building tools with me in exchange for a Reading. It was a cool experience!
The next morning on Monday, I went to work feeling discontent. I was very detached and could intuitively feel myself leaving the job soon. That evening, I went to a vibe session (music, poetry, open mic, etc). One of the guys there asked me about the work that I do and invited me to come and do healings at another event the next evening. I agreed.
Tuesday, at work, one of my co-workers yelled at me and became verbally aggressive. The entire staff and director witnessed what happened, but no one said anything. I remained calm, but felt a strong desire to leave and not return. I knew it wasn’t for me, but I kept on working. That night, I did the healings at the event, and it was fantastic! I felt rejuvenated!
Wednesday, I went in to work very early to try to regain some sense of loyalty to the company. One of my very quiet and soft spoken co-workers came very early too. We were the only two there. She looked up at me and said, “You need to get out of here. What they are doing is wrong, and they don’t care about the workers. If you are able to go, then you should go.”
It was one of those moments when I could tell that Spirit was speaking to me without a doubt. I looked at her and said, “I can find a job in 6 weeks, I’m sure.” She strongly agreed with me.
I sent a text to my oldest brother and asked him if it seemed crazy to leave my job and go to Africa. He text me back, “I have been paralyzed for too long in my life. Go where Spirit leads you.” All I could do was sit in awe at his response. But, I still went through the routine at work, and found it very difficult to stay focused that day.
That evening, I went to a class located in a store in the west side. I overheard a person at the store say “Africa“. I went straight to this person and asked if he mentioned the continent. He was very nice, and shared with me that he had been to Ghana and other African countries. He told me that one of the women who worked with him had connections in Ghana and I should contact her. I agreed to reach out to her during regular business hours.
Thursday, I had to take a client to court (part of the job). At the court house, the client was very rude and even yelled at me. In the years that I have worked as a psychotherapist, I have had supernatural patience and compassion for my clients. That day, it was different. I stayed calm, but I excused myself and stepped into the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and said, “I’m done.” None of what I was doing felt right anymore. What’s funny is that at the same time, one of my friends text me and said, “Had enough yet?” I was appalled, but I text back, “Yes!”
That same day, the HR Manager at the company called me into the office late that afternoon. She never looked me in the eyes, but said they had to terminate my contract with them, stating that I was affecting their billing. (By the way, they were asking me to do things that were not ethical, so I did not do them). When I left out of their office, I celebrated and felt so elated and free. I kept saying, “Yes! Yes! Yes!”
Friday, I went back to west side and met with the woman who had connections in Ghana. We talked for hours, and she asked very profound questions. I noticed that she was very curious and smiled confidently at me. She provided me with information about places to go, how to get my Visa, and what I would need to do and have in order to make the trip. Then she did something that gave me chills…
She pulled out her computer and began emailing someone who she knew that also lived there. She wrote a little bit about me, and then had me to write a few things about myself, and provide my contact information. I thanked her, we ended our conversation, and I went along my way feeling happy and open.
I talked to my oldest brother on the phone, and he asked me, “When are you going to Africa?” I laughed quietly. He said, “Hmm. Christmas is coming up. That’ll be your gift. A ticket to go.” I could tell he was serious. I was baffled and could only say, “Thank you.”
The next day (Saturday) I received a call from a foreign number. It was the gentleman who lives in Africa! We talked for over an hour and a half. He was very articulate, strategic in his questioning, and thorough. I found out that he is an educational consultant who travels to different countries. He asked several prominent questions. He asked me, “What do you see yourself doing?” I shared that I had thoughts/visions about teaching, but I also wanted to learn more about the culture to see what I can do to best serve the people. He then said, “What do you need me to help you with?” I was honest and shared that I needed assistance with housing because I wanted to stay longer than a week or two–more like a month.
He was quiet for a moment, and then shared with me that the woman I met at the store was a very long-time friend of his… 20 plus years. He told me that he trusts her judgment and knew that she referred me to him because she felt like I was serious about going. He paused, took a deep breath, and then spoke slowly and carefully saying, “I spoke with my wife, and she agreed that you could stay with us while you are here. Also, I know that I can get you into at least one school where you can teach if that is what you want.” My jaw dropped, my eyes teared up, and I felt ecstatic! I said, “YES” and thanked him.
He and I continued talking every few days, and linked up on social media. I learned that he also works in the human services field, and has built a good business for himself.
One day, we were talking, and he shared that he and his family would be coming to a nearby state. “I would love to meet you in person,” he stated. “Yes,” I agreed. “I will drive to where you are and meet up with you.”
I met with the family on the first day of this New Year! The father was kind, his wife was sweet, and his children were so polite and curious. I felt at ease with them. The father and I talked all night, got up early, and talked until mid-afternoon the next day! If we both didn’t have to travel several hours, I am sure that we would have kept on talking well into the night!
What I loved the most is that it wasn’t just mindless chatter. We talked about life challenges, relationships, psychology, consciousness, books, and various philosophies. I had desired a mentor to help me to grow in my field of work. Not just any mentor, though. I desired for it to be someone who has similar life-views, lots of educational training, a successful business, unwavering discipline, and compassion. I felt like a student that had finally connected with a long-awaited teacher.
Recently, my mentor and I were discussing our personal visions for this year. We discovered that we have similar visions regarding the outreach that we would like to do. It was in this conversation that he asked me, “Can you stay for two months? There is so much work that needs to be done.”
My first thought was, “Yes.”
Why not?
I know that the Universe conspires to support our dreams. All we have to do is: 1) Listen for instructions 2) Say “Yes” 3) Follow Divine Guidance 4) Be ready to receive
“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” –Jim Rohn
“You are the company you keep.”
Heard that before?
Think about it for a moment, and make an observation right now: Who is around you? Who are the people that are a part of your inner circle? What are you listening to right now? What books are you reading? Whose Facebook status are you always checking?
As my life has continued to evolve, so have the people who are in it. Some friendships have faded away, some have emerged, and others have transformed and strengthened over time.
When I was in high school I did not pay close attention to the people who surrounded me. I had friends that were in gangs, had failed classes, and got into fights often. At the same time, I had friends that were part of leadership organizations, in the band, athletic, and some who were academically inclined. I felt like I was connected to all of them, but I didn’t really know who I was.
My lack of self-awareness caused me to get into trouble. I was among the “wrong crowd” and had to deal with being in the wrong places at the wrong times. It was embarrassing and also very confusing.
During my sophomore year, I was selected to become Drum Major in the marching band. Taking on this role shifted my perspective. I had to spend a lot of time with other leaders and forward-thinking people in order to be a leader myself. I started to see some of the foolish things I was doing. I also began to isolate more and look within. Many of my friendships changed, but I knew it was for the better.
In my first year of college, I was somewhat rebellious. I had come from a small hometown where I was not allowed to go out much with friends. When I got out on my own, I wanted to explore the world (or at least Savannah, Georgia). My friends were partiers! We stayed up late, danced, played games, and always found something to laugh about. I loved the times I spent with them!
I made many mistakes, though. I was not seeking answers to important questions because I did not know what I needed to ask. I remember taking a psychology exam and asking my professor how I did on the test. He said to me, “Oh, you probably did how you thought. You made a B.”
But I didn’t think that I made a B. It dawned on me that something about the way I presented myself made me seem like a B was my goal. I was just doing enough to get by, and wasn’t applying any more effort than that, but I did not realize it.
I slowly began to notice that my core values were different than my buddies who I hung out with all the time. I had a scholarship and grant money that paid for my education, and had to maintain certain grades to keep them. Most of my friends weren’t as concerned about their grades, if at all. I also was one of the few people who liked having morning classes, but staying up late made it difficult to get up on time. I surrendered to the fact that I needed some guidance, and had to change the people I surrounded myself with in order to expand the way I was viewing my experience.
I felt drawn to some of the mentors at the university, and I began taking on student leadership roles. I spent a great amount of time serving others and left a legacy on campus. I loved doing that type of service, and I began making more connections to people and situations that lined up with my desires.
Now, I am surrounded by a completely different group of friends. We are conscious, mindful, life-loving, and progressive entrepreneurs. When I look at them, I am inspired to keep expressing my gifts and expanding my personal vision.
The music I listen to on a consistent basis, the movies I watch, and the books I read are all different now as well. They are positive and encouraging. I naturally migrate towards things and people that support my growth and propel me towards continuing to live my passion and purpose.
It is clear that we are all highly impacted by those who surround us. There is a subtle exchange of energy and conscious information that occurs when we spend time, communicate, and connect with others. This same exchange occurs when we listen to music, watch videos/television, and read information.
Maybe it is time for you to reconsider those whom you choose to surround yourself with. Do you feel that these influences are guiding you forward, holding you still, or pulling you back? If you do not like the answer, you have the power to change all of this today. Decide on what you truly desire, and make room for the Divine connections and influences that are sent your way.
Remember: The energy that surrounds us is the energy that we embody.
We have the power to choose how we color our lives.
There are times when you want something so eagerly that you become obsessed with seeing it come to fruition. You might even pray and replay this desire over in your mind until it seems to be an automatic thought embedded into your subconscious. You might even begin to feel the ‘If I could just do this, then this will happen’ syndrome forming. But wait.
It is true that visualization, feelingization, visioning, and intentional focus are key elements for bringing your desires forth. However, when these tools go from being exciting and inspiring to routine and monotonous habits, then you have switched gears. It means that you have gone from the openness of allowing into the muddy waters of controlling. And frankly, trying to control just doesn’t work.
When you attempt to control something, it is the perfect formula for progress in the opposite direction of what you desire. Controlling behavior is on a lower level vibration of consciousness; it is based out of fear. Unfortunately, when you focus on your desire from this point of view, you bring the fear into reality.
How can you overcome the desire to control? Remember to seek and allow.
Seeking is the active pursuit to gain knowledge and understanding of something, or to literally search for something. When a person seeks something, he or she does not always know what the exact outcome will be because there is a subtle openness to allow the information to flow in. Allowing is being open and receptive, removing attention away from the desire, and knowing that the desire will occur as it is meant to.
Many people mistake allowing for passivity. It is not passivity. It is the active application of faith. Allowing occurs when we remove the need to control and actually step out on “blind faith”, into the unknown.
I went through my college undergraduate years without having a car. I really wanted a car, but the opportunity for a reliable and inexpensive one didn’t present itself during that time. Right before I graduated college, I began searching and applying for jobs. By the time I graduated, I was jobless, car-less, and had moved back home to live with one of my brothers. I continued with the job search, but also took breaks and focused my energy on other activities. A few months passed. One day I got a call from a director of a program at the university that I graduated from. The director said, “I was told that you are an excellent worker. We need someone to come and work in our department. Can you do a phone interview at the end of next week?” I said yes.
I spent most of that week searching for a new car. I found one that I liked, but the dealer told me that I had to at least show proof of income since I had no type of credit. (I graduated debt free.) I left the dealership with a knowingness that I would get that car. I just knew it was meant for me, but I didn’t know how I would get it. My parents couldn’t afford to buy it at the time, and besides, I wanted to do it on my own.
The night before the interview, I contacted my oldest sister and told her about the job and the car. I asked her to pray with me. I vaguely remember everything that was said in the prayer, but I know that she declared the job and the car were mine. What I remember the most is how I felt during and after the prayer. I was calm, yet excitedly expectant. I just knew that something good was coming.
The interview happened the next day. It was going well and coming to a close when the panel asked me one last question: “Will you have a reliable car to travel in?” Without hesitation I said, “Yes.” They thanked me and told me that they would notify me of their decision.
A few weeks later I found out that I got the job, and they mailed me an offer letter. I took that letter down to the car dealership. I got the new car that I wanted.
Several other events similar to this have occurred in my life and continue to occur. I have become more conscious of my role and I use this awareness to allow more expansive opportunities to come forth. I have learned that part of receiving what I truly desire starts with seeing it, feeling it, knowing it is mine, and letting go of the way it happens.
I leave this message for you:
“Do not look for something that is already yours. Expect it. Do you look for your lungs while you breathe? Do you search for your eyes as you read? No. You know that they are there. Do Not search for what is already yours. Know it is yours and expect it. Do not expect it within a certain time frame, but expect it with certainty. Allow it to be. It Is already yours.”
Metaphysical Freedom 